“For better, for worse; in sickness and in health …”
It always feels so cute saying these words, driven by all the good chemicals as you face that one person you love standing in front of a crowd of people who cherish you. Being pronounced a husband and wife sounds like you just won a lottery ticket to Happily Ever After – at least for most people.
However, checking up on our partners in a year or two might make us wondering “Why have I even married him/her?”. The adjustment phase of marriage is harsh, as constant cohabitation under one roof exposes things that initially never met our eye, creating for newlyweds problems that are unexpected and extremely hard to solve.
This is not limited to a certain demographic or age group. All over the world irrespective of religion, race, social status or language, newly married people are finding it tough to understand their partner’s reasoning ways, especially when a never-before encountered decision faces them.
Let’s look at the most common problems and ways of solving them.
Feeling of boredom
Following the hype that came with planning the various stages of your wedding, when it is over you and your spouse are left alone to face the first harsh realities of life. Every couple has moments when life feels drab and monotonous even with the person you love. This can occur because you are adjusting to constantly seeing each other every day.
Try spicing things up; go on dates like you used to. Another soother can be you both maintaining friendships you both had before getting married. You are still two people who have individual lives, and while it is understandable that your spouse now takes pre-eminence, severing all other relationships (life-related or work-related) can bring about problems as time goes on.
Read also: Why We May Marry the Wrong Person
Trying to change the other person
Imperfections are seldom noticed when couples ride on the highs of love. But when the high ends, little behavioral perks that never meant anything suddenly become major irritants. And it isn’t as easy as to pay for custom essay, change the person you love, it takes a lot of efforts and time. The way he snores with his tongue drooping out or the fact that she loves to carry her freckled face without makeup suddenly become a source of concern, and anger. One of the biggest virtues embedded in true love is the ability to overlook people’s flaws. Those behavioral perks that seem to constitute a part of newlywed issues are what makes the person stand out. While it is helpful to point out some of the long-term negative effects, trying to enforce your opinion is not going to end well. Always create space for a truce and learn to accept your spouse the way they are.
Some people often see marriage as a joining of two families, but I rather see it as the creation of a third, exclusive family. The word ‘exclusive’ may not go down well with in-laws and over the years, they would try to suggest and advice, and invade your space. Sitting down with them and explaining your stand with respect can help them understand that they need to respect your privacy. At times, what brings clashes between newlyweds and in-laws is if either the husband or wife gives his or her own family the space to comment on every issue. Not all fights should end up being solved by parents or in-laws; some problems require you both to sit down without them and look at issues like adults.
The first year of marriage problems can be bearable sometimes, but in some cultures where a wife is expected to conceive almost immediately, childbirth can aggravate issues. It can lead to fingers being pointed in an accusative way. This has caused several homes to be on the verge of dissolution, owing to incorrect mindsets and impatience. One thing that should be noted is that childbearing involves effort from both sides, and a woman not getting pregnant in her first year does not mean she is infertile. Understanding this helps both marriage partners act responsibly and not shift blame to one another
Never compare your marriage with another person’s. Every union has its own share of couple problems; their smiling outside does not mean all is perfect. Their having a certain body type should never set the body standards you use to assess your partner. Pregnant or not, pot belly or not, you married the person, not the body look. People change; how you react to the change is what determines a lot of things. Nevertheless, if you feel your partner’s habits are health-threatening, you can lovingly encourage them to integrate some lifestyle changes. Celebrate every progress they make, and be content with the $200 he brings from an honest day’s work. Encourage your spouse, amplify his/her efforts to prevent discomfort for you both. You won’t even know when a big house will waltz your way.
The union of two people is always, and will always be a beautiful thing, but beautiful things need maintenance. Even the best couples in the world will tell you they learn to live with each other daily. So relax, get your learning kit and enjoy the process!
And if you still don’t have someone to share these summer days with, there is a good chance to find one right now! Install Meetville app on Android and iOS right now and go on a date with local singles!
About the author:
Sandra Larson is a long-time content writer and provides quick custom essay writing for college students. She loves writing about different cultures and traditions. Her hobbies are traveling, gardening and exploring different countries.
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