Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you wonder why your partner is backing off? Do you feel as if you are constantly trying to make them happy only to have them keep their distance? Do you feel as if you have given up everything just to make them happy? If you find yourself in this situation then you may very well be suffocating your partner without even realizing it.
This is a natural tendency for a lot of women as they feel that giving their partner undivided attention is an excellent way to win a man over. The problem is that just the opposite may be true! Though you might think that giving yourself over to somebody completely will help things, it will actually end up causing more harm than good. So if you feel as though something seems amiss, it may very well be that you are smothering your partner.
Here’s how to tell if you are suffocating your partner and therefore back off before it’s too late.
1. You make them your main focus and have cut off every other area of your life: You feel that focusing only on your partner you are showing them your love and dedication. If however you have cut off your friends and you don’t do anything that doesn’t involve them, then you are definitely well on your way to suffocating them. Sure you want to spend time together and be a couple, but a bit of healthy independence can go a long way. Keep up with things that you like and always make time for friends, and it benefits both of you.
2. You get upset with them if they are late or don’t return your call in what you consider a “reasonable” amount of time: You put a lot of pressure on them without even realizing it. You are pushy with having your needs met and you are constantly on them if they are coming up short. Sure it’s okay to have expectations, but if you are asking too much or pressuring them with their commitment or dedication then don’t be surprised if they feel the pressure and go the other way.
3. They seem to be distancing themselves from you, and yet you just keep trying to draw them closer: The closer that you feel to them or the deeper that you want to take the commitment, the more that they seem to be backing off. You can’t figure out why they back off every time you want to be close, but they may be trying to tell you something. Be the one who backs off a bit and let them wonder what’s going on—and end the suffocation cycle at the same time!
4. The more that you try to make future plans, the more that they seem to back off: You’re trying to plan for a vacation with them or just make some plans in general, and they couldn’t seem less interested. They are off on another planet while you are trying to talk through details of something that you have coming up. They are checked out and it’s likely because they feel suffocated. Try giving a little space and see if it can help matters before they are gone for good. Relax a bit and know that you don’t need to smother somebody to be close to them.