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4 Big Fears That May Be Keeping You from Finding True Love
4 Big Fears That May Be Keeping You from Finding True Love
Do you want to find true love but feel a bit uncertain about how to do that? Do you have a lot of fears that hold you back from a true and lasting commitment? Does it feel as though you will never be able to move forward until you get a hold of these hang-ups? This is not an uncommon scenario but it’s time to confront these fears once and for all. If you won’t, they may keep you from something truly great.
The reality is that if you want to move forward with your life you have to first let go of what is holding you back. You might not even be aware of what is holding you back. That’s why it’s so crucial to take a long hard look. Though you may have been hurt in the past, that doesn’t mean that it will happen this time around. Identifying and then addressing these fears will help you to find true love and be happy in this aspect of your life once and for all.
Here are the biggest and most common fears that you must come to terms with and start moving into the better part of your dating life.
You don’t want to be alone
The fear of rejection in any form is alive and well for many of us. The worry, however, is what could ultimately be holding you back. If you are so worried about being abandoned or left then you may never experience something truly wonderful. Love is always a bit of a gamble but yet you can’t worry too much about the possibilities of ending up alone.
Read also: 4 Steps to Finding the Woman of Your Dreams
You worry about being hurt
Along the same lines, nobody wants to be hurt. You may have been cut deep in the past and therefore. So now you assume all relationships will end in this way. Sometimes love hurts, but in most cases, the good outweighs the bad. You have to go in with an open mind and forget about the distant possibility that you may get hurt at some point in time. Try to focus on the positive and see this relationship for what it is and not how it could end up.
You worry about past patterns happening to you again
You may have been hurt. Or you may have been left and cheated on. It hurts and it’s tough but those past patterns don’t dictate what could happen in the present day. Lead your relationship to the path you choose. It's certain that a new partner will bring something new in your life. Focus on this new and develop your relationship in the way you want it to be.
You don’t want to be vulnerable so you put up a wall
One of the biggest fears in a relationship is being vulnerable. You allow yourself to put your trust into somebody's hands and therefore that means that it could end up badly. Putting yourself out there can be scary but it can also be great. You will never know until you try and experience what may this new feeling bring. See what is happening at this moment and allow yourself to be open to new possibilities. Cast aside the fear and allow the good to enter in and change your mind once and for all.
Read also: 10 Reasons to Try Online Dating
So, in order to make the first stage of a relationship easier for both men and women, let’s find out the most common but completely weird fears all girls ever had in relationships.
YOU ARE DATING HIM UNTIL YOU FIND SOMEONE BETTER
Insecurity is a common fear, but some guys make it kinda weird. There is no reasonable explanation why he could think you would break up with him, but he still could have this fear. The only thing you can do is show that you feel very serious about this relationship.
YOU ARE CHEATING ON HIM AND EVERYONE EXCEPT HIM KNOWS IT
Yep, it’s a real one. And it’s quite common among guys (I should admit that some girls have it as well). He fears not only that you would cheat on him but also that he would be ridiculous in his friend’s eyes. It may sound weird for you but in reality, the fear of betrayal is quite strong. Is mostly common among guys who are jealous.
WHAT IF YOU FIND OUT SOME FACTS THAT HE CHEATED ON YOU, WHILE HE DIDN’T
It sounds like some kind of comedy but guys really have this weird fear in a relationship. It also may include handsome and successful ex who shows up at the most inconvenient moment (to make the situation even more dramatic).
YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS HATE HIM
As your relationship getting more serious and he’s becoming the bigger part of your life, he may start thinking that you are the only one in your surrounding who likes him. This fear may be totally irrational wouldn’t make any sense, though he still would have it.
YOU ARE A MONSTER/ALIEN/GONE GIRL PSYCHOPATH
It all depends on which kind of horror movies he is watching. It’s totally weird and sounds unreal, but all guys are still kids in their soul, so they might have this kind of thought.
What about online dating?
It’s not a secret that one of the most widespread reasons for people to avoid online dating is the fear of being rejected. On the Internet, we have to present ourselves to hundreds of other users, so people with low self-esteem, who take things too close to heart, are unlikely to use online matchmaking services. Now let’s take a closer look at these online fears.
You have found a nice partner online and are sure that this very person is who you’ve been looking for all this time. You seem to be on the same wave and everything is going perfect, but suddenly he/she stops chatting with you. He/she doesn’t answer your messages, ignores all your offers and requests without any explanations.
Check in your previous messages, maybe there is something that could offend your partner. Are there any dirty jokes or something like that? If yes – just apologize and bear in mind all the topics to avoid while communicating with him/her. If not – just put up with the thought your partner may have found someone else. Treat this communication as useful experience and move further – there is plenty of fish in the sea.
Write him/her a message where you ask about the reasons for his/her ignorance. Maybe your partner has really sound reasons for not answering you. Tell him/her that you’d like to continue the communication as soon as your partner solves all his/her problems. You may also offer your help. This will show your online date you are really attracted to and aimed at a long-term relationship.
You’ve exchanged a couple of messages with a user and think that he/she may become a perfect match for you. There are a lot of colorful plans in your head, you just close your eyes and see your date. But suddenly all your dreams are broken one day when you get a new message from your would-be partner where you are straightly offered sex or told that your date has got the partner and they are just looking for someone to accompany them. Of course, you feel sad and disappointed. But on the other hand, you should be grateful to this user for his/her openness and honesty. As this offer puts everything in its places at once and will help you to avoid disappointment in future.
What to do
First of all, pay attention to the online services you browse through and choose only credible ones in order to avoid misunderstanding with other users. It’s just stupid to create a dating profile on the swingers’ website and wait for a marriage proposal, isn’t it?
Be prepared to receive messages with similar content. Unfortunately, there are a lot of users seeking sexual relationships only, that’s why make sure your dating profile doesn’t contain any ambiguous phrases or vulgar photos.
So how to handle dating fears?
Every time staying in front of the mirror when getting prepared for the evening with a new would-be partner subconsciously we hope that he/she may become our one and only. Every time after not a very successful date we realize that we were wrong once again and here comes the disappointment.
By the way, having read hundreds of articles and interviews devoted to matchmaking issues we've come to the thought that men and women have absolutely different expectations when going on a first date thus, preparing the ground for mutual disappointment and misunderstanding. There are not too many single men out there who tend to launch long-term relationships with the lady they’ve just met while women’s plans of being together usually go far away.
So, what do we need to do to make the process of dating easier and get rid of unpleasant emotions? Don’t take things too close to heart and stop making plans before your relationships actually become relationships. Treat dating as a pleasant and exciting game where each new step just makes you closer to the prize. I don’t persuade you to become cynics, no! I just want you to become realists who don’t have any illusions about new people.
As soon as you learn to take things as they are, your life will become easier and your communication with others will get to absolutely another level. Don’t think about your future too much and take one day at a time. This will definitely help you relax and start enjoying your life right now.
And if you are still looking for someone special, don’t forget to go to our mobile version or install a Meetville app on Android right now and go on a date with local singles!
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