Everyone who starts their dating life has a question in their mind: Is it okay to have sex on the first date? The answers are different, but what nobody really thinks about is how many further you should go to make the first move. Is it okay to have sex on a second or a third date? And wouldn’t it ruin your relationship with this person?
Imagine the situation: you’ve met someone special online and you had a wonderful first date. You feel like you are getting really close to each other and you might have even kissed at the end of the evening but the second date is coming and it might be the time when you take things to the next level. Though, is it really a good time to get intimate? The truth is that no matter how long you have chatted online before your first date, you still don’t really know each other and you can’t be sure how having sex on a second date will influence your relationship.
There is a dating cliché that eventually can be true – men usually look for sex but fall in love, while women are looking for a romance and end up having sex. Even though their desires seem opposite, they find a common ground in one thing – sex is the main part of any dating experience. However, the timing should be accurate as well.
Having sex while you are still strangers to each other may have its own advantages and disadvantages. Here you can see the main pros and cons that will help you to decide whether you should have sex on a second date or not.
You shouldn’t force it, because…
- It increases chances for a long-term relationship. You don’t go too straight-forward and leave a place for getting to know each other in the first place. Having sex on a first or a second date may give a girl sense of shame and guilt, which is obviously not a good ground for a future relationship. And also it seems not as a simple sexual desire but as a mature decision that you both had time to consider.
- It builds anticipation. You know how much the desire grows when you’re prohibited to have something? Postponing your sexual relationship feels the same. Making a move at the first days of dating may blow your chances of getting a second or third date. At the same time, waiting for it helps your feelings develop in the right direction and lead to a possible strong relationship.
- It wouldn’t make you feel shame or guilt. This reason mostly concerns girls but could be relevant to guys as well. When you are moving too quickly into the action there is a big possibility that your partner won’t find it appropriate in this period of your dating. Even if both of you are enjoying the process. Start with a gentle kiss and maybe a hug. Follow your partner’s emotions and understand when you’d better stop. But forcing into having sex may lead to a feeling of shame and guilt and totally ruin your relationship.
You should give it a try, because…
- You will understand what to expect from this relationship. Believe it or not, sex is a crucial part of any romantic relationship. Sexual incompatibility may become the reason why some couples break up even after many years of living together. So, having sex on a second date will help you to make things clear at the beginning of your relationship.
- You will be much closer to each other emotionally. Sex is not only about getting closer in physical terms. Emotional closeness is a huge part of such a connection. It may even help you to build a stronger, long-lasting relationship.
- It’s not the first date anymore. Some people have harsh restrictions about having sex on a first date. It’s like a stigma that having sex with a person you’ve just met will make you a hoe (it will not). But no one ever said anything about a second date! So it gives more freedom to act as you wish.
Whether or not to have sex on a second date it’s your decision. Though, consider one more thing as well. If you are okay with having sex on a first or a second date and your partner is not, maybe it’s a sign that this kind of relationship won’t work out and it’s better to stop it at the first stages.
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