You probably think that if you are with the “wrong one” that you would know it, right? Though some signs are quite obvious, some are a bit more subtle and can sneak up on you. In most instances you may have a gut feeling that something isn’t right, but so many of us choose to ignore that. We may want to be in a relationship or want to make things work, and so we ignore that voice that tells us that things just aren’t what they seem.
So how can you tell if you are with somebody who is toxic? Sure the blatant signs may be hard to ignore, but are these more subtle things at play? So many of us can reflect back on a past relationship and recognize the signs, but how can you use them moving forward? If you want to know definitively that you are dealing with a toxic force, or know how to avoid this type of person then it’s time to pay attention.
You Can Tell For Sure If You Look Beneath the Surface
These are the signs that will tell you what you are dealing with, and therefore help you to stay away from the wrong type of person. These are the indicators that you are not dealing with somebody that will make you happy, and that will always put
their best needs first. Always remember that if something seems too good to be true, then it is. So be able to look beneath the surface to see who you’re really dealing with.
1. You fight more than you get along: If you have just gotten used to fighting and that seems to be your norm, then something is amiss. Yes every couple fights, but if this is happening more than the happy times then you are with a toxic force. There is something about them or the relationship that isn’t working, and it may lead to escalated confrontations. So be ready to evaluate this and if the bad times outweigh the good, then something is wrong. Love shouldn’t be this hard and if you are miserable more than you’re happy then be ready to run.
2. They seem to manipulate you and you’re left wondering what just happened: You are often led to a point of view that isn’t yours. You very likely end up doing things that you don’t really want to do, but that make them happy. They have a way of “working you” that helps to fulfill their needs, but never puts your first. If you are struggling to figure out why you’re never happy but they are, then they are manipulating you. This can come in a variety of different forms, but if their needs are always met but not yours then they are truly toxic.
3. You are constantly upset, feeling down, or trying to recover from something: You may make excuses for it, but you are down more than you are up. You are sad, upset, constantly crying, or just miserable in general. You don’t gain any positive energy through this relationship, but you try to explain it away. If they see you like this and don’t really care enough to make it right, then you are dealing with the wrong person for which there is no future with.
4. They seem way too smooth to be real: You will often see that players may seem like the most composed and “perfect” partners. Something within you tells you that things aren’t right though and you can’t ignore that voice. If they can’t really explain where they’ve been, they get weird phone calls, or if they seem a bit too rehearsed then you’re probably dealing with a toxic player. Don’t fall into the trap of loving their traits, but rather be able to look beneath the surface and see what’s really at play with this person.