Whatever our origin, we must accept that sexual feelings play a great role in any people’s lives and relationships. It surely can bring a lot of pleasure when the mood and the time are right. Recognizing your romantic and sexual needs is an exciting adventure, and is also a real one. It can also be filled with hardship and confusion. There is no so-called right way to love when covering up the topic of one’s orientation. However, there is a lot of stigma around non-binary people which makes them feel shame for who they are and lie about their feelings, to themselves in particular.
If you are a man and suspect you might be gay, first of all, give it a rest. Examine your thoughts and behaviors. Don’t rush it! Bear in mind, that there are a lot of different forms of attraction — romantic and sexual. You might consider the possibility that you are neither gay nor straight and are bisexual, asexual, or just curious.
We are here to provide you with some tips on how to be honest with yourself and dispel doubts about whether your theories of you being gay are obvious or not.
1. Just because you dress, walk, or talk in a specific way does not tell you are gay.
A common stereotype and a great lie. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with your general appearance, wardrobe, or your manner of speaking. A guy with a high-pitched voice is not necessarily gay, and a short-hair girl is not necessarily lesbian. It also applies to walking or dancing. A certain way of expressing yourself doesn’t make you gay. Ignore the stereotypes when figuring out your sexual preferences.
2. Who do you mostly examine in public?
While you are out in public whether alone or with a friend, observe who tends to draw your eye. If you are gay, then you are more likely to notice people who are the same sex as you. Straight people tend to notice the opposite sex more, in general. If you think you notice both sexes roughly equally, you may pause it for a moment and consider the possibility you are bisexual or even asexual when it comes to terms of the way you observe.
Being bisexual means you are attracted to either sex and being asexual means you are attracted to neither – sexually or romantically. To make this process easier, you can use a dating site for gays and find gay people faster in one place.
3. Identify your sexual preferences by examining your sexual fantasies.
Sit or lie down and think for a moment what type of fantasies you used to experience in the past and what do you experience now? Notice who you tend to think about. If you often fantasize about same-sex relationships, you may be gay or bisexual.
4. Use protection if you decide to give it a try with a person of your sex.
All that matters is that you are sexually intimate with a person you are comfortable with and that you really want to do it. Use a condom to protect both you and your partner from sexually transmitted infections (STIs). You are still at risk even if it is a same-sex option.
Take note that even if you had a sexual experience with someone of the same sex or gender once or twice, it doesn’t mean you are gay. First and foremost, it is a sexual experience. Just analyze whether it was a pleasant one.
5. Identify your sexual preferences when you feel ready.
You have to take your time to figure it all out. It is perfectly fine if it takes a while and if you tend to constantly change your mind about that. It is normal to experiment and question sexual preferences. As an example, you can come out as bisexual because you used to date both women and men. Ultimately, you might realize that you are more into guys or vice versa and stick to that one direction.
In the end, the only person who gets to label your identity is you. You are the only one in power to do so no matter what other people suggest to you. And no matter what label you choose — it should be respected. And it doesn’t matter how old are you if you are mature and you know that you are gay, but don’t know how to find like-minded people, we have a solution for you – a dating site for mature gays. It is easy to register there and use.
There are a few things you can do if you assume you are gay and want to come out:
- Understand that there is no wrong side. Nothing is wrong with you or your orientation. The only wrong thing here is the intolerance you face from confused and lost people around.
- Give people space and time to improve their reactions. They may realize their first impression on the topic was wrong. Let them know by sending a simple message that you are ready for conversation when they have had enough time to process all the things you said.
- Surround yourself with supportive people. Whether they are your friends and family members or LGBT+ people you will meet online or in-person, try spending more time with them and it will certainly make you feel better.
If you do not know where to find such people, then Meetville is the best answer; it is a great option for people who want to chat or even meet someone special no matter what orientation you identify as!