Overcoming First Date Anxiety

When you go into the first date you have a whole mix of emotions. You feel excited but also very nervous and maybe even anxious. You are probably focused on making a good first impression, but this can also take over your every thought. Chances are that you are going into this first date with a lot of worries and overall concerns, and you want to be sure that everything goes just right. So how can you address those first date worries and ensure that they don’t become reality?

The reality is that you will always have concerns going in because deep down you want things to work out. You want to know that you may make a connection and that this other person will like you. It’s also in the back of your mind that you could put yourself out there and they may not feel the same—and so the worry gets bigger and bigger and starts to take over your every thought! Though you will always have concerns on some level, you never want them to become so big that they take over your every thought. Learning how to work past these concerns is key and can allow you to have a great first date in the end.

Remember that addressing your concerns will help you to find a way of coping. The more you address what is on your mind and find a strategy for getting through it, the more this will work to your advantage. Never cut yourself short and realize that you are going to give it your all and hopefully they will too. Here are some of the most common first date worries that you can address, work through, and move past which will help you to ultimately be happy in the end.

1. You won’t have anything to talk about at all: It’s a valid concern, but go in ready for this and you’ll be just fine. Think of current events, hobbies, or common interests that you can chat through and you won’t run out of conversation topics. Think of what is enjoyable to talk about from both ends, and you will have good conversation starters that you can rely upon if necessary. Just being yourself and talking about things that interest you or that you are good at will ensure a smooth transition and for the conversation to keep flowing.

2. They won’t show up: You see it in the movies all the time and of course you worry about it, but there’s a good chance that they will show up. Talk to each other before the first date, set a location that you are both happy with, and this can ensure a greater likelihood that they will show up. If you at least have a good conversation in advance it will take the anxiety out of it and also contribute to the likelihood that they will show up and you aren’t left stranded.

3. Your nerves will get the best of you and you won’t make a good first impression: Who doesn’t worry about this? Of course, you worry that you will clam up and won’t be able to talk but think of things to focus on to get you through. Find a tactic that can help you to relax and be prepared even if it’s a couple of deep breaths beforehand. Your nerves can only get the best of you if you allow them to, so relax and collect yourself before you go in and you will be just fine.

4. You won’t be attracted to each other and it will be a disaster: Yes, attraction matters, but it also takes on many different forms. Don’t worry so much about this because there’s a good chance that you will in fact be attracted to one another on some level. Look your best, go in with confidence, be open-minded, and see what may unfold—and then it will all fall in line and the right platform will be set for true and lasting success!

5. You won’t be interested in a second date and neither will they: Give it a chance and go in with an open mind and know that they will likely do the same. Don’t be fixated on the second date, just be yourself and be willing to put yourself out there. If you can look at it as an enjoyable way of talking to somebody and have no further expectations, then it truly works in your favor. Give things a chance to develop and the rest will be history, allowing things to work out and be a great platform for hopefully enjoying a second date if all works out well!

Anxiety is something that everyone experiences and your date is almost definitely experiencing it as well. Moreover, it can be hard to know how to behave and what kind of activity you should choose. Fortunately, if you remember a few basic tips, it’s not difficult to have a successful, enjoyable first date that leads to many more. Here are some things to keep in mind if you have dating anxiety.

• Find out what you have in common

When your first date involves an activity or hobby that you and your potential partner both share, you know you’ll have something to talk about. These dates offer you the chance to make a connection right away.

• Keep meals casual

If you’d like to have a meal during your first date together, consider having lunch or just sharing a cup of coffee. Combine the date with another activity, such as sightseeing, that gives you something to talk about and prevents uncomfortable silences across the table.

• Admit this feeling

Almost everyone has a little dating anxiety. Letting your date know that you feel nervous isn’t an admission of weakness. There’s a good chance that he or she feels the same way!

• Avoid high expectations

Everyone wants to have a good time on their first date, but expecting the experience to be perfect can contribute to dating anxiety. Even if you’re not sure things went well, consider a second date or be willing to move on to another potential partner. Never let one date decide things permanently.

Overcoming dating anxiety can be tough, but it’s worth doing. Use your first date to learn more about your potential partner and don’t forget to enjoy yourself. Even if you feel a little worried, things will usually work out for the best.