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3 Ways to Recover and Rebuild After Rejection on the First Date
3 Ways to Recover and Rebuild After Rejection on the First Date
You followed all the rules and went into the first date with an open mind. You could feel that you weren’t quite aligning the way that you wanted to, or that things seemed a bit tense in a manner of speaking. You wanted to impress this person, but instead, things somehow went very wrong. Now, instead of planning for the second date and a possibility of a long-term relationship, you are feeling rejected and frustrated. Sometimes the first date doesn’t go the way that we think it will, and this can make you feel really disappointed. It’s something that we’ve all been through though, and you can rebuild and move forward with your love life.
The thing to remember is that there is always some sort of lesson to learn within this type of scenario. Though you may find that you feel frustrated, disillusioned, or confused, you want to take the time to gain some perspective. There is always something that you can take away from this bad first date, even if it’s that you are dating the wrong type of person. There is always something that you can use moving forward into your dating future if you are willing to be open to this life lesson. It’s not always easy to move past the hurt, but if you are ready and willing then you can turn this current frustration into future success.
Be sure that you can find a positive out of this and use this to help you to gain momentum in your dating future. It’s not easy, but if you are willing to put yourself out there and recover in order to rebuild, then good things lie ahead. Recognize that this may very well be the best thing that ever happened to you, so be open to the possibilities and work to rebuild even after this type of rejection.
1. Look at the situation with eyes wide open and search for what truly went wrong: There is something that you can often point to and say that you know is the biggest mistake. There is something that truly went wrong and now it’s up to you to figure it out. You have to take a step back to gain perspective and then look at the situation honestly to survey what could have made things go in the wrong direction. It may be something that you said, it may be something that they did, or it may have just been a lack of chemistry. It may have been that you weren’t a match or that you didn’t go in with an open mind to see what could have been. Be honest with yourself and look at the way that the first date went, and then decide for yourself what could have caused this situation and then ensure that it doesn’t happen again. Don’t dwell on the past, just learn from it and then move on!
2. Everyone is anxious or nervous and they may not be at their best: Unless your date is a total dud or clearly not a match, give them a chance to really prove who they are. Remember that on that first date everyone gets nervous, anxious, and may put a side of themselves forward that isn’t really them at all. You more than likely felt a bit nervous and so did they, so give things a chance to calm down and see if it’s better on that second date. You may just find that it’s a totally different experience!
2. Know that this isn’t your fault and that you can change your future: Even if you didn’t put your best foot forward, this is not the time to play the blame game. Consider what happened, learn from it, and then move on. It may not have been a good match and you couldn’t have changed that even if you wanted to. This is a time to learn and to grow for future relationships, and that’s it. Don’t beat yourself up or go into self-loathing mode. Just recognize where the date went wrong, own up to it, and then move on to a better match.
2. You don’t get the chance to really get to know each other until you give it more time: On just one date you don’t really get to know each other that well. It’s not until you have had a chance to feel more comfortable and speak confidently that you can open up, and the same goes for them. You are only seeing them for a limited time on the first date and it may not even be in the right environment. So by giving it a second chance you may find a more favorable impression and a better shot at relationship happiness!
3. Move forward with a positive mindset and know that you can find a better match for you ahead: Try your best to brush off the rejection, even if it feels like it’s overtaking you at the moment. Give yourself time to feel the frustration and then move forward with a more positive mindset. If you hold onto the rejection or the sting associated with it, then you are going to work against yourself. If however, you move forward learning from it and then regroup to make future dates better, then it all happened for a reason. Gain some perspective and know that it clearly wasn’t a match made in heaven and that the right person will truly come along!
Rejection after the first date never makes a person feel good. It happens to everyone, and the most important thing that you can do is learn from the past and then move forward. Having a positive mindset and learning from past mistakes is the only way to master things and to enjoy a better dating future!
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