We’ve all been through a bad relationship and it can really sting. Somebody that we thought might be a good match turns out to be all wrong. If it’s an isolated incident you can learn from past mistakes and move on. If however this seems to be a bad pattern, then you need to evaluate what’s really going on here. The answer may lie in your behavior or the way that you communicate things.
It’s not uncommon to suffer through the wrong patterns in relationships, but you have the power to put a stop to it. Though many people will brush it off as a bad date or not being able to see somebody for what they are, if it continues to happen then it’s time to be honest with yourself about what’s really going on. Being in tune to those signs and having the power to do something about it will lead you to long term happiness.
If you want to put a stop to the bad patterns once and for all, then here are a few things to keep in mind to ensure that you quit dating the wrong type of person and focus on the right ones.
1. Be aware of the early signs and in tune to them: If you’ve been through a bad relationship before then you know the telltale signs. You have to be in tune to those signs and be honest with yourself when they show up. It’s not always easy to notice them unless you’re looking for them, so go in with your eyes wide open to ensure that you don’t fall into the same sort of pitfalls again.
2. Be confident enough to say when something isn’t working for you: If you don’t like the way things are going then you need to exert a bit of confidence into the mix. Be willing to say when something isn’t working for you so that you don’t get in to deep. The time to say something is early on, so feel good about yourself and stand up when you don’t like the way something is going in the relationship.
3. Communicate your needs and wants so that you end up with what you want: It’s not enough to just think that you’re unhappy, for you have to verbalize it. If you want to break the patterns then you have to speak up when you’re unhappy. It’s up to you to communicate your needs and wants, and that’s the only true way to be happy—and also to avoid the same patterns that have made you unhappy in the past!
4. Don’t settle and fall into the same role: If you’ve been through this before then you know what to be on the lookout for. Never settle even if you think there are enough positive traits in this person. Don’t take on the same role that got you into trouble before. Stand up, recognize when you’re settling, and know that you deserve more and that you can get it.
5. Be ready to walk away if it’s not working for you: If it’s not working then recognize it and move on. It’s easier said than done, but this is the only way to truly break the habit. Be in control of your own destiny and be ready to admit when the pattern is negative. You know what will work for you and what won’t, and it’s up to you walk away when you can see you won’t be happy.