Don’t you wish that you could get into the mindset of your first date? Wouldn’t it make life easier if you had a way of detecting red flags early on? Do you ever wish that you would have known something negative a lot sooner? The good news is that there are some common red flags that you can be in tune to. Sometimes the red flags or the negative vibe can seem apparent or hit you like a ton of bricks—but sometimes it’s far more subtle than that. You may not know right away, but there are some common patterns or signs that you can be on the lookout for.
If you get a bad vibe or if your instincts are telling you that something isn’t right, then you should always trust that. Sometimes though your instinct may be telling you that everything is okay, and therefore you have to be proactive in this. Sometimes they may seem great on the surface or you may really want it to work out. In the end, the most important thing to remember is that if you go in with your eyes wide open, you may pick up on something that you might not have otherwise seen. Look beneath the surface and see what this person is all about, and you just might get your answer.
If you feel clueless and helpless in identifying red flags, know that you are not alone. Here we look at some of the most common red flags that you might see on a first date. If these do come out, then cut it short and know that this will never be a match made in heaven—it’s far better to know early on!
1. They don’t seem to have any close friends or family: Sometimes you can just get a sense that somebody is a loner. Though this may not seem like anything to be readily worried about, if they aren’t close to anybody in their life it can speak volumes. This may sense a fear of intimacy or a difficult time in keeping relationships. There should be somebody in their life that they are close to, and if not then this is probably not the best person to pursue.
2. They aren’t really paying attention to you: Though it may appear that they are listening to you, it’s clear that they aren’t really taking in what you are saying. It’s sad to say but there are plenty of people out there who only want to talk about themselves. You want to be sure to tune into this, and if they seem to tune you out when you talk then know that this is not a good match. It should be a give and take, and if it’s not then it’s never going to be that way.
3. They are on their phone a lot or they seem distracted: This can be a sign of a cheater, a player, or just a habitual dater. They may be talking to somebody else about plans after they see you. They just may not be into the whole relationship thing. If you are on a first date and you are getting no attention and they seem distracted, then get out of there before you end up getting hurt.
4. They seem really into you early on: The opposite extreme may be true here sometimes too. If you find that they are way too into you on the first date, it may show a certain dependence or desperation. If they want to make plans with you right away for next time or if they hang on your every word, then this is indicating that they may be too needy.
5. They are bashing their ex or seem to have a hostile attitude in general: The first date is the ideal time to show your best attitude. If they seem hostile or if they can’t stop bashing their ex, then they are in a bad place. You don’t want this baggage or negativity in your life, and it’s best to just go your separate ways.
It may not always seem like red flags are obvious, but these are some things to look for. If you get a bad feeling or you honestly see that this person is not right for you, then it’s best to cut things short and find a better match for you.