You feel like you’re saying all the right things—but are you? Whether you mean to or not, sometimes the way that you say something can turn somebody away without any warning. It may be the way that you say it or how you carry yourself, but there are some major communication errors that could cost you another date. You probably don’t even realize you’re making these mistakes, but the way that you talk is just as important as the way that you look.
It’s sad but true that sometimes we let our nerves get in the way. Sometimes we say things that we wouldn’t normally say because we’re trying too hard. Sometimes we talk too fast or too much, simply because we’re nervous about making a good first impression. Letting your nerves get the best of you is common, but it’s something that you have to be mindful of and therefore ensure doesn’t ruin the date. These horrible communication mistakes can hurt your chances at getting a second date—and they are important to avoid at any stage or point in your life too!
We can all use some fine tuning from time to time, so don’t fret if you’ve made these mistakes before. Just know what they are, know how to avoid them, and be conscious of your strategy moving forward. The way that you talk is a direct reflection of you and therefore when you miss out on something critical, it shows that you are not somebody worth looking at for a second date—and that certainly is not how you want things to go!
1. Don’t talk over the other person: You may be the type of person that talks loudly or gets animated when you’re talking about something. That’s fine, but if you come across as talking over this person before you, then it’s not a good thing. Be sure that you are conscientious of this and that you don’t end up canceling out the other person in conversation—you may come across as self-absorbed when that’s really not you at all.
2. Don’t talk so softly that they can’t hear you: If you have something to say then by all means say it. If you are too quiet or your voice is too soft, then they are going to wonder what is wrong with you. Don’t come across as passive to a fault or unsure of yourself, for this can be a huge turnoff and can make them wonder if you are really genuinely interested in being there.
3. Don’t come off as obnoxious or trying too hard: Just be yourself, don’t try too hard, and don’t come off as obnoxious. Again if you try too hard then you will just come off as a shell of who you really are. Though your nerves may take over, don’t let this come off as a conceited attitude or somebody that talks nonstop over nothing too important. Laughing or talking too loud or too much certainly falls into this category.
4. Don’t ask questions and then forget to listen: If you take the time to ask questions about the other person, then be sure to actually listen for the answer. If you skip ahead or try to center the conversation around you, then you have accomplished nothing. Be sure that you are mindful of listening to what they have to say, and to finding that balance.
5. Don’t talk only about yourself or things that interest you: Sure they want to hear about you, but if you talk only about yourself then this is a huge communication error. Try to find things to talk about that interest them or find some common ground. They are there to hear about you, but you need to find out about them too.
Being mindful of the way that you carry a conversation can make for dating success. Avoid these common mistakes, and be sure not to let your nerves get the best of you. It can run smoothly if you stay away from these problem areas, and ensure that you come off as the great communicator that you really are.