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Elmer, 53
United States, Florida, Pembroke Pines

Online

About Me

Born and raised in the wild by a family of Red Squirrels, a sworn enemy of Gwen the Gwey. My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, (aka Derek Russo Sugli Alberi - Derek the Red Tree Dweller) commander of the Squirrel Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Marcus Squirellius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next, so watch your nuts Gwen! N/S only please...I've seen this on a few profiles but have no idea what it means. I can only guess that it means "Non-slappers" or "no scroungers", so that'll do for me, or could it be Non-smokers, that's quite preferable too.Time to freshen this up a bitDue to recent popular demand and also as a reward to my fans around the world, I have decided to update my profile. After all its only fair to spread the joy, plus it makes me feel good too.....and that's all that counts really ;)Please feel free to contact me, I will try to reply, however if I don't, it could mean that, I don't think that we're suited, or, Ive forgotten how to type, or Ive had too much medication and passed out. Similarly, if I do reply, that doesn't mean that I think we're a good match. I just might be feeling chatty, obnoxious, witty, drunk or all eight. It's not like I haven't given you enough material to work with, so please say something more interesting than "Hi, how are you?"By day i work as a lab technician and due to a recent industrial accident have been blessed with the super power of flexibility and springiness, which I abuse to its full extent as a cat burglar and am now known by Interpol as Colin.This new found attribute has enabled me to start a diamond smuggling operation to finance my addiction to wine gums (which I am slowly conquering). I am considering selling my yacht and going into the shoe, flower and chocolate business. I’m an ex F1 driver and in my spare time I model hessian underwear.I can also blow up balloons and look good in big floppy shoes, red nose and curly wig....oh and I forgot to mention I’m also unbeaten at pooh sticks.Update (they seem to be a la mode so why not!)Unless you have gold and diamonds dripping from your ears and fingers or juicy gems sat on your chest i may not reply. (see profession)I'm ultimately looking for someone that can multitask, that way i can sit around all day and do sod all.Please show this on your profile if you know someone who has been eaten by a shark!~~~/~~~o/~~~Now wheres that nurse with the medication trolley........ Update 14.73 It would appear that its not just men that don't bother to read profiles, I'm still getting "hi there" and "hi how are you" messages.....so pique my interest, say more than hi, catch my eye and you may just get a reply ....oh i enjoyed that.Update 21.6.938.06.a Alas time and medication have now caught up with me and I no longer have dark flowing locks of hair, in fact its decidedly grey! As was once said by a famous Mexican "joo wanna stroaka ma goat?"Pooh Sticks of course

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Divorced

  • Have kids

    Yes, but they don't live with me

  • Wants kids

    Yes

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Atheist

  • Body type

    Average

  • Height

    6'1"

  • Eye color

    Green

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    No

INTERESTS

Dance
Wink Icon color PERSONAL INFORMATION Fave
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SIMILAR PEOPLE

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stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
  • Jesse from Pembroke Pines | Man | 57 years old | Scorpio
    Jesse

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    Man. 57 years old. Zodiac sign: Scorpio.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 47-67

    "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo EmersonAgree?... read on ;)Yes, comfortable in my own skin, though life seems more complete when I am filled with warm thoughts and private smiles about someone who has touched my heart with authenticity. Is that you?Active and stay in shape, and enjoy being with people who share a health oriented lifestyle. Low maintenance too, with no leaks, not on meds (don't even like taking aspirin), and not in therapy!With a degree in electronics, inventing, building, or repairing anything electrical is second nature. Personal interests are in solar energy and alternative medicine.My spontaneous side: everything happens for a reason, and when I let synchronicity take over, joy happens in my life. Care to share in this magic?Making time for my passions, I want my partner to live their passions also. Striving for balance in my life, gardening keeps me grounded - can you get down and dirty? If I can grow it, can you cook it? I like any music which stirs my soul, or makes me want to move. Can I show you waltz, cha-cha, 2-step, and swing? Want to learn Tango? I enjoy learning something new… how about together! - Snowmobiling, kayaking and motorcycle riding are on my bucket list… can you break me in? Sharing time with friends and family is important. I can take charge when everything feels confusing, or hang with quiet moments without feeling a need to fill in the space. I see the cup half full, and relish a woman that has a smile on her face and knows laughter and joy.My woman: I don't expect anything from a Lady that I cannot say is true about myself: honest... genuine... not a game player... one who doesn't know EVERYthing, but would like to!... one who understands that open-mindedness means evolving... that every encounter, every experience, every breath has the potential to change you if you let it... lives on a higher spiritual vibration... thinks outside the box, colors outside the lines... likes to eat with your hands (or mine), and maybe even cook a thing or two... one who is NOT interested in cultivating the dent in the sofa... one who likes to touch, and be touched... who likes soft kisses that build to conflagration... one who appreciates comfortable silences, intimate conversations, thoughtful discussions, a heartfelt rant, clever puns. One whose heart knows that two people with like minds, wild passion, mutual respect/acceptance and impossible dreams can make music that would shame a meadowlark... one who makes the heart sing, the mind wander, the spirit soar and imagination run wild.. yes! that lover, partner, co-conspirator, playmate and best friend.Check out the local coffee shop makes a good intro, or go for a stroll along the river. Thanks for the visit!

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  • Lachy from Pembroke Pines | Man | 40 years old | Pisces
    Lachy

    Online

    Man. 40 years old. Zodiac sign: Pisces.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 21-41

    Hi! My name is Lachy. I am never married catholic hispanic man without kids from Pembroke Pines, Florida, United States. Now I'm looking for new relationships. I want to meet a woman, love of my life.

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  • Josmar from Pembroke Pines | Man | 44 years old | Virgo
    Josmar

    Offline

    Man. 44 years old. Zodiac sign: Virgo.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 29-49

    Hi! My name is Josmar. I am never married other hispanic man without kids from Pembroke Pines, Florida, United States. Now I'm looking for new relationships. I want to meet a woman, love of my life.

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