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Jason, 39

Offline, last seen Sat, 07 Jun 2025 06:12:14

About Me

Let it be known that I loathe laughter. It makes me SO ANGRY! When someone is having a good laugh I just *** compelled to PUNCH them in throat and then kick them in the JUNK. This makes me smile and giggle...which only pisses ME off and then I have to punch MYSELF in the throat and kick myself in the junk. Then no one is happy, and that is good, and when I say good I mean BAD.I despise travelling. My idea of a good vacation is drawing a chalk circle around myself, and NEVER leaving it. I just stand there and GLARE at everyone passing by.Kids? What the heck is up with THOSE? Don't people know where they come from? Seriously....it's like eeewwwww, please wash your hands after touching them. I sure don't have a couple of them myself! If I was a Jedi I would be called DARTH SANE, because I would be that INsane. Yeah, you had better stay away!!! Which MEANS that no, you can't use me as your personnel loofah! Seriously, what is THE matter with YOU! I think people aren't so bad. You just need to know how to cook them, the right spices and herbs and they are delicious. Vegetables???? Don't y'all know that is a big conspiracy to trick you to eat less people? One needs their daily dose of GRIT. Pets are good to have around when u RUN out of people...I am SO LAZY that it causes physical pain, which i love. And when i say love I mean hate, but i love that also. I don't do stairs, I either roll down them, or wait for some foolish Good Samaritan to CARRY me up them. Sometimes I wait a long time cause I am dirty. Showers and teeth brushing is unsafe, cause if you are clean you will taste better and other people will want to eat you. And that is bad, and when I say bad I mean GOOD....no wait, that one IS really bad. So when is say BAD I do mean BAD. Got it? Good.Let me get this straight girlfriend, you want me to hold you IN my arms and kiss you on the lips? Oh geez...seriously? Are you TRYING to repulse me and make me feel ill? I would much rather do something that I don't HATE, and by hate I mean LOVE.Even death doesn't want to be MY friend. Which I am okay with because he is actually a tall, skinny, pretentious snob. He is always like " I am here to take your soul" and I am all like " Can't you ever talk about ANYTHING else? Just shut up already!". Like really....Finally, one of the best parts of being evil is that I can end a ranting monologue with abundant evil laughter....ready? Here goes....MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA......MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA.....MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA Ha ha ha ha ha ...... I will take you somewhere so we can use our eyes for glaring, our fists for punching, and our feet for kicking. Yeah, you know you want to!

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Separated

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    No

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Christian

  • Body type

    Average

  • Height

    6'1"

  • Eye color

    Brown

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    Yes, socially

INTERESTS

SIMILAR PEOPLE

Great
stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
  • Jeremy

    Online

    Man. 26 years old. Zodiac sign: Leo.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 18-28

    Hi! My name is Jeremy. I am never married catholic caucasian man without kids from Center Valley, Pennsylvania, United States. Now I'm looking for new relationships. I want to meet a woman, love of my life.

  • Richard

    Offline

    Man. 40 years old. Zodiac sign: Leo.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 37-47

    ***I have tried uploading photos on this site, both from my computer and phone. The photo on here is the ONLY one the site will display. *** Does anybody want a relationship anymore - you know, things like holding hands, cuddling, doing things (besides sex) together, or have all the a**holes out there destroyed it for those of us who want that? I'm on here for one reason - to find ONE special person to be in a relationship with. I'm not looking for a f**k buddy, ***, or endless e-mails and IM's. If that's what you want, please move to the next profile.A few words about me - I'm kind of shy, but once I get to know you, I open up. I'm quite witty and have a good sense of humor. I have no problem laughing at myself. I am known to be a smartass, but it's all in fun. I would never intentionally hurt someone. That being said, I am quite intelligent and can carry on a decent conversation about just about anything. I am not perfect, who in this world is? I do work out and yes, the time is measured in hours, not minutes per week. I'm just not religious about it. A lot of it has to do with my schedule. It would be nice to find someone that would enjoy going to the gym together though. Not in a competitive way, just things are more fun with someone else.I am more of a home body than a clubber or bar rat. I would much rather sit outside and listen to nature (even the geese on the pond behind my building that really need to get themselves a clock) than what passes for music these days. I like music, mostly older stuff from the 50's and 60's up until about early 90's. Yup, I even listen to country, but tend to lean more towards country-rock than the old twangy stuff. I like to cook, and actually think I'm ok at it. Well, at least I haven't poisoned myself yet and if I cook for you, you'll have to sign a waiver of liability before we eat (my attorney made me put that in). Believe it or not, I like doing housework. Well, almost all house work. I hate dusting as my black and glass furniture will attest too (what was I thinking?). I would gladly help with the housework, even doing the dishes.I am a romantic at heart. I love candles and burn them quite often, even if it's just me around. (Who am I kidding, my animal 'kids' couldn't care less about them) Buying flowers or gifts for no reason is important to me. I like to let you know that I'm thinking about you. I am very affectionate and not afraid to show it. I am kind and don't like violence of any kind. I am a good listener and try to help those around me in anyway I can, even if it's just a shoulder to cry on. I don't have any human children, just my 2 cats and my bird. Yes, cats and birds can live together, you just have to have a bird that's bigger than the cats. I like to cuddle up on the couch and watch a good movie over most TV shows on now. I don't care too much for reality TV. I don't really watch a lot of tv, but when I do, it's usually some science related stuff (History, Science or Discovery Channels). I like All seasons for different reasons. I like the fall because the leaves are changing and it's colorful. I like the summer because that's the best time to do outdoor things like swimming or fishing. I like spring because you see the first color after all the white (well, more accurately mud around here) after winter and thunderstorms. I love thunderstorms! I like winter because I'm one of the few people that live in Chicagoland that actually likes snow and doesn't mind the cold. I like to take walks, but again, they are better with someone. I like holding hands, cuddling and kissing, so you must like these things as well.As I stated above, I am not perfect. I do not have the perfect abs or the perfect body, but if you want someone who will treat you right, never put you down, or ***, and will be there to support you no matter what, look no further. You'll find I'm everything I've said I am and more, but you have to invest the time to get to know me. Open for anything - let's meet for coffee or a drink and take it from there.

  • Ulrick

    Offline

    Man. 38 years old. Zodiac sign: Capricorn.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 35-45

    First off, Thank-you for dropping by my profile and (hopefully) reading through it!Second off, this is my third (or fourth) go-around on this site - I really hope to make this time my last time, but what the hell, its free.Did you have a good day? Its a polite thing to ask, and if we get to know each other, you can expect to hear that sort of thing from me regularly. Plus I give a great hug and appreciate a good cuddle. Its true, I am a cuddle monster.... just sayin' :)I do believe in God and feel its important and also think it helps to keep me grounded. I'd prefer to meet someone who has a similar belief system, or who can at least appreciate it.Here's 10 reasons you may want to message me and get to know me a little better:1) I want to get to know you, yes YOU! I'd like to start slowly, with an eye for the long-term2) I am baggage-free, except for the ones I use to travel3) I don't have a 'type' I'm attracted to - if you are in great physical shape, or have a few extra pounds, or have a lot of extra pounds, it doesn't matter. I don't have any photos of myself doing the Grouse Grind, so its ok if you don't either. I think curves are tremendous ;***I am honest and trustworthy - traits I find to be in short supply these days5) I like to '"spoon" and can be either the big or the little spoon with equal effect (I do prefer being little spoon though - who doesn't?***I really, really hate the terms 'bucket list' and 'partners in crime' . Completely and utterly over-used terminology! Insert originality here, please!7) I need a travel partner - any takers?8) I have a stable living situation and a solid job - hope you do too9) I know the difference between a woman and a Lady, and am looking for the latter***I am ridiculously eager to get off this site and never return! How about you?There are at least a few more reasons you should get to know me better - they are awesome! I'll let you discover them for yourself ! ;) Coffee works

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