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Deonne, 46

Online

About Me

What is this called anyway? Personals? Searching? Dating? Seems like shopping the want ads to me...For rent/ possibly sale: ***y/o male, a little used, but not worn out. Works well, plays well, and is low-maintenance. Likes to be handled with care and respect. Doesn't need constant supervision and is safe for children and pets. Wonderful entertainment in a variety of situations. Can be operated indoors or out. Doesn't require constant electrical hookup. Reasonably priced. Have had some offers, but nothing serious. Pictures of newer versions of advertised item are also available.Wanted to rent or buy: one middle-aged female, can be used but in decent shape. Must work, play, and can have a few scratches or dents. May be complicated, but easy to operate. Won't be constantly supervised, must be reliable/ dependable. Must be able to be operated indoors and outdoors. Must be safe for children and pets. Would like a lifetime warranty and ability to use on trial before purchase.Under construction. One size fits all. For a limited time only. This side up. No assembly required. Sealed for your protection. Contents Hot! Handle with care. Do not exceed recommended dosage. Your mileage may vary. Smoking this message could be hazardous to your health. If you read this far, you're nuts. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited. Everything is subject to change without notice. All rights reserved.Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting!!Kiss a diabetic, its the best sugar you can get!

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Divorced

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    No

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Christian

  • Body type

    Athletic

  • Height

    5'11"

  • Eye color

    Blue

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    No

INTERESTS

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stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
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  • Oliver

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    Man. 47 years old. Zodiac sign: Aries.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 44-54

    Like a lot of people, I work a lot. But when I'm not working, I'd almost always choose to hang at home with people close to me than go out to a huge show. I prefer smaller crowds. Where people can talk, bonfires w/ homemade beer/spirits. I do like big events: plays/musicals/theater (Phantom / Rock of ages / Lion King). I'm into science and tech stuff and enjoy the fact that my 12 yr old son and I can bond through the nerdy aspects of our personalities. My son lives with me weekends. I've never been married so the independence streak in me runs deep. I'm unorthodoxed and a perpetual optimist. I can do things that many people would consider impossible...on the other hand; I sometimes have trouble doing things that most people find simple.Random facts:-I have an uncanny ability to detect lies.-I have zero ability to tolerate bs/drama-I'm very persistent and way too loyal.- (If you don't know who they are, don't worry most people don't) -otoh- If you do know who they are, you should contact me.-Music style: If what kind of music I like really matters to you... were probably not a very good match.(but a few favs are bjork, white zombie, acdc, zach brown band, elvis, mozart & gwar)-I don't enjoy alcohol - I drink socially. So, you'll never find beer in my fridge (unless you put it there).-Drugs kinda scare me.-I don't believe weed is a drug...any more than corn is.-My biggest regret is that since I'm single now, and about to achieve greatness, I'll probably never know if my next partner loves me for me or my money.(but whatever.. there are worst problems to have)-My dog "Sam" is "Dog Genius" he understands 90% of what I say & 100% of what I mean. He just cant speak.-If you're a "True Believer" in any faith, you best move along - You'd probably find me, at best offensive at worst corrosive towards your beliefs.(FYI/IMO***If your profile says anything to the effect of " I wont sleep with you on the first date"/ "I have too much respect for myself etc etc." ....Then I, (and most guys) , assume you're overcompensating for an incredibly slutty past and will probably get naked after 3 shots of tequila.... (so I'll probably e-mail you) first dates with me??? usually.... and spit on people. ;-)I love to take my time with relationships... so usually, sex has to wait until we've finished our entree'... usually.So if by chance we do interrupt the entree' with freaky monkey sex right then & there on the table in the restaurant... at least when were done... the entree' will still be warm. ;-)

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