Elisha, 34
Offline, last seen Fri, 03 May 2024 21:45:08
About Me
(Author's Note: I know that with these internet profiles, you're suppose to put your best foot forward in your vain attempt to attract more attention then everybody else. However, I learned a long time ago that isn't always the best thing to do. So what I've decided to do is put my WORST foot forward since if you can't survive my profile, then there's no way you're going to be able to survive me! Humor is a huge part of my life so if you don't find what's below humorous, then we'll probably never get along.)I consider myself to be an honest man. In fact, anyone that has ever known me has considered me to be not just honest, but brutally honest; meaning that even when I SHOULD lie, I don't. So in light of this wonderful quality that I have so mastered, I have decided to make this section a complete no-holds-barred truth session about me. I once told my Mother that I thought there should be a reality show about me. Her response to that was simply "I don't think the world is quite reeady for you." Touché Mother... Touché. I am the director for Odyssey Paranormal Society. If you have any questions or stories for me, I'd be happy to hear/answer them! Check us out on ***/OdysseyParanormalSociety. Looking for new members if you know of anyone!I once accidentally wore a Santa suit to a funeral I wasn't invited to. True story!An anagram for my name is "Manche Oil Lie". I don't know what that is, but it sounds awesome! Friends comes and go, but styrofoam; now THAT lasts forever! What? Didn't think a guy could think of something that deep? I'm a variable kiddie pool of deep thinking!Even though I’m a Packers fan come football season, the Twins have always been my team when it comes to Baseball. I remember spending the night at my Grandma’s and listening on the radio the night Puckett hit the game winning home run during the ’87 World Series. I jumped out of bed and ran to the livingroom to watch the replay on TV. I don’t think I’d ever run so fast in my life and still haven’t! But, I’m smarter now than I was back then, so if I were to race against my former self, I would simply stick my foot out and trip me! I’d never see it coming! I really like to fight. Not "Fight Club" style fighting (although if it was I couldn't talk about it) but just having stupid debates about the most assinine topics. A lot of the time, I'll pick sides that don't even come close to what I actually believe just so I can debate someone about it. So, you'd better bring your A+ game!I love golf! Why? The shorter answer is: What do I NOT like about Golf? I don't like trees and the fact that I keep going in them. I don't like slow players because then I have to wait for the area to clear before I can hit my ball out of the trees. I don't like rain and how it makes me and the long grass wet which increases the difficulty of my hitting my ball out of the trees once the slow people have cleared the area. LOVE everything else!Think I’m a great catch yet? Well you should! I'm a hopeless romantic and I can't help but be so. I send flowers for no reason, write poetry, and plan lavish dinners just because it's fun. I have no idea how I manage to still be straight... Oh well. I think I'm pretty smart, and I'm about as creative as a person can get. I know looking over that list of wonderful adjectives that I just seem too good to be true. Well, you’re right. Whereas those are all true, I'm also exceptionally sarcastic and crude. To sum up: I'm pretty awesome!What the problem here is, you women don't want just a nice guy. You want a nice guy who is HOT. And why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you settle for a good looking man with the personality of a grapefruit and an ego the size of Texas? Sure, he may be able to make his man-boobs do the Marcarena and I can only make mine do the hopscotch, but I'll make you far happier than he ever will, and that's a guarantee. I draw a mean stick figure. Seriously, it's phenomenal. You'd take one look at it and go "Oh. My. God. I've never seen anything like that!" I'd just say, "I know." Then we'd make sweet, sweet love. Oh yeah... they're that good.There's two kinds of people that I hate. The people who use the phrase "Life is too short..." (because, come on, what can you possibly do that's LONGER???) And the people who write a description of themselves right next to their picture! (Are you kidding me!? I can SEE you know! Do I really need to READ it? Do you not think that I'll be able to tell from your PICTURE what you look like? I may be a guy, but I'm not THAT stupid!)It just makes me want to club a baby seal. Seriously, if there was one next to me, I would grab a club and just go to town on the thing! I hate it that much! Oh, and shorthand. Can't STAND shorthand! It's like I'm talking to a retarded gorilla. And I said retarded gorilla because I'm sure a non-retarded one could type in a more understandable way. This is just a warning, but don’t ask me stupid questions like: “What are you thinking about?â€
PERSONAL INFORMATION
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Looking for
woman
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Relationship
Never married
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Have kids
No
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Wants kids
Yes
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Ethnicity
Caucasian
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Faith
Atheist
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Body type
Curvy
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Height
6'0"
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Eye color
Blue
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Smoke
No
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Drink
No
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