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Maude, 34
United States, Louisiana, Shreveport

Offline, last seen Sun, 22 Feb 2026 02:02:09

About Me

**Fair warning: If you have no pictures of yourself posted and/or if you haven't filled out your profile with more than a couple generic sentences, I will not respond. Lack of effort is not rewarded here**Born in Montreal, lived in south Florida for the better part of my life. Family is originally from Spain, so I get to sound badass speaking the espanol when it suits me :) I'm inappropriately twisted and hilarious, I'll take any bet just because I can, and I'm loyal to a fault. I'm a pretty laid-back person and new in town, looking to meet some fun people, maybe something more. I'm not interested in one-night stands, hook-ups or threesomes with married couples, so anyone inquiring can save the typing time, sorry.... it's actually astounding the sheer amount of propositions from married couples I've received to-date. Very flattering, I just don't share!I usually skip over the profiles that emphasize the "active, fit, take pride in my appearance" as I feel they are code for "I look awesome and eat lettuce and I want a chick pulled straight from a magazine cover". Sorry, that's not me, I have curves and I'm fairly average. I love to cook and bake and I'm pretty decent at both. While I work out 6 days a week religiously, I survive it only because I'm daydreaming about pizza and Count Chocula. I also don't think lasting attraction is relative to someone's waistline. And I only run if someone's chasing me :)I'm pretty boring, don't really do the club or bar scene anymore, my idea of a good time is a road trip to a big ball of twine or rock n' bowl at the local bowling alley, buying a vintage outfit *** Value Village and pretend to be someone else for a night. Even just a Godfather/ Star Wars/ Indiana Jones marathon while curled up on the couch is a-ok with me. Needless to say, I'm a homebody through and through. But when I do go out, I am the life of the party (whether in heels or my beat-up vintage Converse All-Stars). Turn-offs: Soul patches, eyebrow rings, smokers. No judgment on any of these 3, it's just a preference. I used to be a smoker for many years, so I now just avoid it out of habit. Also not a fan of arrogance, people who are too serious and bad grammar. I think the #1 thing I look for in a relationship is a good sense of humour. If you can make each other laugh, everything else is details. And I do have a macabre sense of humour, so you've been warned. My favorite movies are Ghostbusters, Uncle Buck, Spaceballs, the original Star Wars trilogy and anything by John Hughes or Quentin TarantinoAssuming you're still reading and are not a hoarder, serial killer or Yanni fan, feel free to drop me a line!Something fun and maybe even a little embarrassing... Rock-n-bowl, karaoke, front row at a comedy show, whatever tickles our fancy. Unless you don't like your fancy tickled, I try not to judge.

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    man

  • Relationship

    Divorced

  • Have kids

    Yes, but they don't live with me

  • Wants kids

    Someday

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Atheist

  • Body type

    Average

  • Height

    5'4"

  • Eye color

    Brown

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    No

INTERESTS

Dance Gardening
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