Eldred, 39
Offline, last seen Thu, 18 Apr 2024 18:13:33
About Me
And now that I have your attention....ask yourself this: He's Smart, funny and good looking....so why is he here? Well, it seems that the only types of women I meet are Princesses, Party Girls, Flakes and other assorted messes, and these days, I don't really have the patience or budget to deal with that anymore. What i'd like to find is someone sweet, sexy, smart and above all, normal!If this is you, then we should talk. Hey, work and life keeps us busy and sometimes it's stressful. We'll see if we can't share a few laughs, good times and a little escape from our everyday headaches, you know? I'm looking to talk, meet and just see what develops. How about you? Full disclosure: I work and have school, so my schedule is very busy sometimes, and often not convenient. I'm in no hurry, and I'd like to take my time and pick the best. Feel free to say hi. Let's talk and see if we can have a few laughs, good times, then see where it goes. No games, no headaches, no BS. Simple and stress-free. (We're not in High School anymore :))You be you, I'll be me, and let's have some fun. UPDATE: I hate to sound like a total 'bag, but there's a few things that need to be said. And before you ask: YES, it's all true. I have my dealbreakers (just like you) and MOST of you are not reading the profile. I use this profile to see who's actually paying attention, and screen out what will not work for me....Ladies, we're pushing 40 and the days of thumping bass, spandex skirts, velvet ropes and shouting "Woooooooo!" when your song comes on is not in my plans these days. Having fun is great, but these days, we have to get up tomorrow and go to work. 6' 3" and ***does not move gracefully on the floor. If you still need attention from Vladimir the Eurobag, I can't compete with his popped collar and drinks in plastic cups.Ladies, I understand single motherhood. Divorced with a child? Okay, at least you're a responsible person (or you married an idiot) but 2 or more? It's a red flag for me. I'll always wonder why your ex was good enough to mate with but not good enough to keep around. Just being honest.Ladies, I can't save you from crushing debt, psycho stalker exes, creditors, repo men or the Visa hit squad. I have the house, the car, the job, most of my hair and all of my teeth. What I don't have is a trust fund or a bulging portfolio. I'm not cheap. I'm just not independently wealthy yet :) There's a difference. You can expect fun and laughs....just not an expense account from yours truly.Ladies, we all have a past, but most of it isn't terrible. I just hate shameful surprises! If you've done "art films" with the words "....; or "danced" around a pole in clear heels....I just can't with you. If everybody has already seen you naked before me or I have to take a number and wait in line, I'm sorry. However, I will ask you to autograph your latest spread in "Juggs" magazine. As long as your past won't result in injury, rehab counseling, penicillin, court trips or headaches for me, we'll be fine.Ladies, please make it easy for me to see who you are in your profile. If your pics have 17 of your friends in them, vacation spots, pets or taken in the dark, it's like playing "" If I can see your "Class of '91" tassle in the pic, it just makes it ten times harder to see what you look like these days.Ladies, the favorites votes? Very flattering, but if we're not talking then you're simply wasting my time. I already know i'm gorgeous and hilarious. Everybody who sees my profile knows this. Let's put some effort into this. Isn't that why we're here? Say hello :)There's a million things to talk about, but it basically comes down to this: I'm here to entertain you, not rescue you! Life should be fun. Now let's see what you and I can do. You have a million questions for me, and I have a million for you....so let's begin..... Here's the test: If you're laughing by now, feel good about yourself! You understand satire, and you're NOT a total disaster! Send an *** chatting with a gorgeous guy! Offended? Discuss it at your next scheduled session. Your counselor will love to hear your opinion. As for a perfect first date? There is no perfect first date. It's more of a matter of who you're with. Hopefully we'll do something fun. Something that leads to sex afterward would be nice too! LOL. Seriously, dating is worse than being on a job interview, so whatever we do, let's just enjoy it! I'm sure we'll think of something....just click 'next'. I'm sure he's here, but I'm not it.
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