Mathew, 37
Online
About Me
"Hello, I am a renowned guy of some sort who this gentleman has paid $20 to write a forward for his profile. In any case, I have been told that I should warn you that this dude is not for the faint of heart. If you eschew the f-word, insanely raunchy jokes, nonstop laughter, creative expression, or words like 'eschew,' he's probably not going to be your Cup o' Noodles. And if you take yourself too seriously or have a hankerin' to pop out kids or already have kids of your own, you're not exactly going to turn his crank either. So there, I wrote you a forward. Now where's my $20? Hello? Hello? Where did he go? Oh, he did NOT just stiff me..." Once there was a wee farm boy full of imagination and wonder. He had big dreams of living in a house with air conditioning and within the same time zone as the nearest grocery store (his dreams of being a hand model were dashed in a tragic cheese grating accident). Soon the day came when he had to say goodbye to his parents, trade his bib overalls and gunny sack for jeans and a backpack, and head off for college in a larger town with a stoplight. Degree in hand, he found himself drawn to the bright lights of the big city. Oh what a time he had! Great friends, MORE stoplights, comfy coffee shops, quaint pubs, hip bars, restaurants with every imaginable cuisine, live music, theater, movies, and plenty of serene places to jog and bike. And yes, dear reader, he bought himself a house with air conditioning comfortably close to a grocery store. As I'm sure you've already deduced, I'm talking about me! And in the third person for some reason. Aside from having an imaginative and creative streak, I'm sarcastic and a bit cynical, but just enough to crack snarky wise at the ridiculous things that go on around me on a daily basis while still maintaining a positive outlook (I'm an oddly optimistic cynic). When left to my own devices, my sense of humor can be random and more than a little off- In other words, if you often find yourself uttering phrases like "Well, I never!" followed by your monocle dropping out of your eye, keep walkin'. Despite my creative nature and my techno-geeky career and interests, I'm also surprisingly handy. I remodeled my home of 12 years almost entirely myself. I had a little help with the bathroom though, as I was fortunate enough to have a TV show do that! As for you, you're smart, confident, responsible, honest, compassionate and definitely aren't afraid to stand up for yourself--you're strong and independent. You like who you are. If I playfully give you some sarcastic grief, you gleefully dish it back and then some. You enjoy long, meaningful conversations, as well as the times where we crack each other up so much that we spiral into uncontrollable laughter. You love our nights out on the town taking advantage of all the cultural amenities at our disposal but also appreciate our quiet evenings at home making dinner together (if you don't cook, no worries, I love to!) and snuggling on the couch watching movies. You don't necessarily have to be running any marathons, lifting cars over your head, or eating tofu by the fistful (though I do eat my fair share of it), but I'd like to find someone who is active, generally eats well, and doesn't use drugs (so no crank, spaz tabs, fluffer nutters, or whatever supposedly cool kids are calling drugs these days). In other words, I won't complain if you want us to stop for ice cream or share a piece of cake now and then, but I'll probably get upset if you need to run to the ladies room to shoot up before dessert arrives. You also aren't a racist, xenophobe, homophobe (or anything-o-phobe when it comes to other people's equality and worth).A few other interests... My car radio is set to The Current when I'm not listening to MPR or other talk/news.Music DISLIKES: Country, gangsta rap, death metal with lyrics considering primarily of guttural screams and grunts, anything too sugary or top 40.Movies: The Matrix, Inception, Back to the Future, The Hangover, Hot Tub Time Machine, sh***y SyFy Channel original movies (my god, they're terrible, but so addictive), subtitled martial arts movies, caper/heist flicks, documentaries -- Exit Through the Gift Shop and Candy Man (about the guy who created Jelly Belly) are a couple of recent docs I've watched. And yes, I even hopped on the Downton Abbey bandwagon and got addicted.Books: These days I tend more toward biographies and other non-fiction, though I have been known to read the occasional sci-fi, fantasy, or mystery novel. Can't wait for the third book in that series to come out!Fitness: I wish it came naturally to me, but I've been a runner for over a decade and have to work my ass off to keep up with it. This year I did several 5k races, an 8k, 10k, and most recently, a 15k. I also bike occasionally and lift weights. It would be fun to find someone I could run and/or bike with regularly to keep healthy or at least be supportive of my efforts *** being a bad influence. I think the first date should be simple and in a quiet, intimate enough setting that we can hear each other. After all, we're trying to get to know each other, right? It's so cliche, but meeting up for a drink or coffee is a great facilitator of conversation without any pressure, and there's the added advantage of being able to look each other in the eye as we talk. No, not stare creepily -- have a proper face-to-face conversation. I prefer to save more involved activities for a later date after we've had some quality, undistracted conversation. After that, anything goes! A concert, theater, hike, bike ride, amusement park, road trip (obviously a day trip as opposed to a longer road trip is more appropriate if we haven't know each other that long), Twins game, art opening, whatever tickles our fancy.
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