Ebenezer, 30
Offline, last seen Thu, 28 Aug 2025 18:01:05
About Me
Im corny like the jon after Thanksgiving. Oh and I'm gross like 144. I'm VERY picky. Especially in the morning when the fans been on all night and the air is really dry. If your profile says, "look no further!" Thank you. I'm nearsighted. I admire free thinkers. I pay a penny for my thoughts but I'm broke. Oh and if i dont get back to you right away, call me doc and you be patient. I get soooooo many messages! Dont you hate when people look at you like youre a piece of meat? I mean Im a person. I have feelings! Cant you just taste the sarcasm oozing off my page? Disclaimer: if i ask you what you like to do, pleeeeeaaaase dont say "i like to laugh!" Who doesn't like to laugh? Who says, "Laugh? **** that! i like to be miserable" Pardon my ebonics. Yea I wear white pants after Labor Day. Big whoop wanna fight aboudit??? And yea, I wear white pants. Again big whoop wanna fight aboudit???..Quick recap because as far as long profiles go, unlike my credit card, i carry a very low rate of interest. Why i'm here? I work a lot so there's not much time to meet anyone and when I do go out, I see the same people over and over! Thats a liiiieeeeeee. Truth is, i have about as much game as a rain delay. The last time I got a piece of ass, my finger slipped through the toilet papaer. I have a unique personality. I speak what's on my mind and usually it's something strange and unusual. (see the first 2 sentences) If I could sell tickets to my brain I wouldn't have to work again! If you're in the club every night, get a job. I like to go out but it's not my life. I'm a drinker but no alcoholic. I will say my phone needs a breathalyzer. I'm somewhat of a homebody. I'm not looking for anything. I learned that you find what you're looking for when you stop looking. I can't guarantee I know what I want but what I can guarantee is that ill know when I found it. Honestly, do you wanna know what I want?;when did you know?" The one thing I don't want is a pen pal. This is a dating site. If you just wanna talk, go on ***, Lets have some Good convo to start and lets take it from there. And by good convo, i dont mean answering all my questions with one word answers. Thats rude. Also, if I ask you what brings you on here, don't say a friend made it for you, thats hogwash. Also, if you're on this thing everyday, you're not on here "for laughs" or "for entertainment" You can tell how long a girl has been on this by the amount of skin they're showing. If they're in a turtleneck, they're new to the site. If they're doing the "Over the shoulder, wearing a bikini, cleavage shot" the they've been at this for a while and are pulling out all the stops. I'll make you a deal. Be real with me and ill be real with you! I don't bite. :-) Or uhhh a little clevage will have the same effect...so uhhh yea, pick your poison. Oh and if I message you multiple times, get off your high horse. I have a bad memory X-P. leave me alone on twitter #pissoff If you managed to read this far, I must warn you...I'm a cereal killer...in fact, there's a good chance I'm hiding in your closet stroking a knife! I'm kidding, my weapon of choice is a spoon. Oh one more thing, guys are dumb. If you're here for "casual dating/no commitment" we think you think like us and you're here for a booty call. Just wanna help ya out. Remember, we're all in this pond together.... And I just peed in it. Swim away from the warm spots!!! Isn't it ironic that I said I didn't like long profiles in a profile that's for all intents and purposes, long? Biggest pet peeve: if you judge someone before you get to know them, see my twitter. If you think you're better then me, chances are you're not. I own my own home which will be paid off in 5 years. Have a career and a good head. I don't have "swag" I have personality and ill take that all day. Alrighty then. I'm done...finally! *sigh* I lied, that was my second biggest pet peeve. My first is being a flake, If you're a flake, piss off 10 time over! Third biggest pet peeve? One ply toilet paper! Ok I'm out babay! Enjoy the show? Message me for an encore. Lets Gangnam Style! Update: I wrote this when Gangnam Style was popular. Still...lets Gangnam Style!
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