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Eloise, 38

Offline, last seen Tue, 28 Apr 2026 02:14:22

About Me

&Hey what's up guys?! I Like Hot Cars and Fast Men! Lol ;) Wait a minute... Did I get that backwards??? Or did I?!!! As u can see I'm the Resident Smart Ass and I'm seeking the same. Actually I'm looking for a True Gentleman First and Foremost. I'm looking for the 3 S's... Smart, SeXy, and Sarcastic cuz that's who I Am! 6'4" and above And now You've Really Got My Attention!!! If you're 6'3" I Still Might talk to ya! Lol ;) I do massage for a Living so don't ask me for a freebee otherwise I Will Charge u Up the Horse's Pattootie!!! I workout daily and eat very healthy and need u to b that way as well. Only The Best for The Best!!! Yep, im**** too!!! I'm a shoe and car "aholic". I like anything Italian that ends in an "i" - think about that one and yeah that's what I meant! Lol. I'm looking for a TALL, cool WHITE dude with GOOD Hair, ALL his teeth, (straight white) and a killer bod. That's Right, that's what I Said - U Must b in Shape!!! I don't want jst Anything - I want Everything! But I don't feel bad about that bcuz that's Exactly what I've Got to Offer! In a nut shell : Beautiful Goddess seeking Beautiful Adonis... Is that U?! Lol ;) If u hv a Beer Gut or Man Boobs it probably won't work!... Or if u r pictured in overalls, w a Dead deer in the background or hv listed your body type as "average" / a few "Extra" pounds PahleeZe Move On!!! Fashion Forward is Always a Plus and if you're a gay guy in a Straight Man's body -!! Hahaha ;) For those of you who don't fit into my preferences, please don't get mad and leave me angry messages. I certainly don't fit into the dumb blonde blow up doll category so please just simply MOVE ON. U don't hv to agree w what I Like or Dislike (and that's ok***that's why this is MY Profile and Not yours! Lol ;) There is Someone for Everyone. Everyone is Perfect in their own way and there is Beauty in Everything :) My preferences r just that - not necessarily requirements so if there's something Rockin about U hit me up! :)*** Agave Watermelon Cream Soda RuLes!!! (Fresh Market)... ;) PLEASE READ*** Also, I date Vitamin D ONLY - NO Chocolate Milk - No Offense - it's jst not how I Roll ;)... Oh and in case u guys were wondering - Yes, I'm tryin to hide my glass eye! Lol. I'd tell ya about my peg leg too, but then that wld jst b TMI... Lmao!!! ;) Also, I graduated from Clown School at the top of my class, but I got kicked out of Charm School. Oh well, can't win them all I guess :) I'll leave that up to u ... Jst no Happy Meals!!! I'm not 5 (nor do I eat fast food :)... Also, my Headline is Just a Play on Words - Learn How to take a joke people! ;) I'm Not looking to "hook-up", not looking for an Intimate Encounter, And if you're Married - Stay That Way! ;) ...;) or 40 yr old virgins Pleassse ... ;) ... If u r under 6'2" don't worry I have a midget stripper category for ya! Lmao ;)P.S.I'm Not Mean, they jst don't Pay me to b Polite ... ;)Good Luck to Everyone on the meetville Home Shopping Network ... Even the Sasquatches!!! Lol ;)P.P.S.Because of my Chosen Profession, I'm Automatically apart of the Boy's Club so Pleassse don't Try to run your Silly little games on Me ... In the end, You're the only One who will end up lookin Stupid ... ;) Lmao** Before u msg me PahLease look in the Mirror First!!! If u wouldn't Fukk yourself than chances r I wouldn't either! Real Talk ppl's ;)(Rude + Truth = Dead Honest) If you're offended then yeah I'm talkin to U! I'm sorry in advance, but my inbox is tired of ***pounders) Lol ;)*** No Pic = No Response*** A Word of Advice For those of u who find it necessary to put your hunting trophies on here, Please remember that u r on a Dating site!!! While I appreciate this might b displaying some of your interests there is Nothing that screams Romance by having a Dead Deer in the background or any other Dead animal for that matter. I think I speak for Most women on Here cuz I can Assure u None of us want to see That!!! We r Not in the Caveman days Anymore and we r Not gonna judge u by how much Food u can bring to the Table literally...*** Update: If there's anyone in the Music Biz please contact me as I'm tryna get a friend of mine Signed!!!Recently started dating someone, but If u need a Massage hit me up. Serious Inquiries Only as I work on an Elite clientele and my Pricing is Reflective of that. Best of Luck to Everyone!!! :)(Met mine at a gas station of all places so u never know when or where you're gonna Find LoVe - Be Open ppl's) :)

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    man

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Someday

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Other

  • Body type

    Slim

  • Height

    5'2"

  • Eye color

    Brown

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    No

INTERESTS

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Great
stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
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    Woman. 38 years old. Zodiac sign: Capricorn.

    Looking for: man. In age: 35-45

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