Total users: 61,854,227 Online users: 222,545
Kelvin, 50

Online

About Me

Ok, who's ever completed this bit in under 20 minutes? If so, give yourself a crackerjack pencil (shows how old you really are if you remembered)& can't think what to say?Ok, here's a starter for 10. I make cakes for a living! (stampede of women's feet then suddenly screeching to a halt when they think they're gonna get fat! but please don't let that put you off cos I promise I won't steal your car!Music: Anything on the radio 1 playlist is out of the question, I have some taste, though varied. &Filums: A good comedy, A good thriller, generally any good film???Going out: Rarely, but if I do, I can usually be found at The Bull outside sat on me own like a slog (Sad Lonely Old Git) I'm a bit old fashioned I'm afraid & think jeans & trainers on a man going out for the night is a no no, so I only ever wear trousers, shirt & shoes. Would much prefer cuddled up on the sofa, at least then I wouldn't have to wait for all the women to get out of the mens toilets, why do you do that? You all complain about the other women taking too long & when you get in there you do the same thing?? (sorry, I had to get that off my chest) Oh, & another thing, you know you shouldn't be going out anymore when you hear yourself say "does the music really have to be that loud?"Hobbies: Amongst other things, collecting dust has been a favoured past time of late. Destroying a good classic on my guitars, if Carlsberg made guitarists, it wouldn't be me! I'm very keen on gardening, I could watch someone do it all day :0)TV: Classic comedy & newer comedies.; anything with Karl Pilkington in it :0)Dislikes: Liars, Un-Reliable people, those from strange villages that still point at airplanes & sprouts (The Devils testicles)Home is with my 25 year old son & his girlfriend. Now I know how my mum & dad felt!How would my friends describe me seems to be a popular quote on here, so here goes, Dave? he's honest, too honest for his own good, a right miserable boring old fart who goes on & on & on about how fed up he is & we wish he wouldn't come round! a favourite quote of theirs I believe is " turn the lights off, he'll think we're out" Yes, I've turned into me dad! (told you I was too honest for my own good!)I wear my heart on my sleeve & don't pretend I don't but it has been battered a bit lately, battered as in ripped to bits, not the sort you put on cod :0)I'm at that age now where I go in the kitchen, stand there, look around, wonder what it was I went in for then sit back on the sofa & then remember what I went in the kitchen for!Also noticed that I'll go to a kitchen cupboard for a nibble, see there's no crisps left in the bag of 24 I bought 2 days ago (I hate people leaving empty stuff in cupboards/fridge too, they're called "off spring"), then sit back down & 20 minutes later, go & look to see if there's anything that's miraculously appeared by magic since I last looked. Is it just me or do others do that?My ideal woman?? Smiling eyes are important, I'm an eye person, the rest will follow. I love a woman to be funny, loving (don't mean sex wise) warm & understanding. At our age none of us has got to what we perceive as this very long cul-de-sac without some hurt or pain in our lives, it makes us who we are! I'm a very good listener & I doubt you've been through much in life that I haven't. So I do have lots of empathy care to give.Nothing makes me happier than just lay on the sofa cuddled up or holding hands & just being contented, sometimes comfortable silence & a hug can mean more than a thousand words.So, there you have it, I'm sure I've accumulated a bit more info over the last 50 years but that'll do for now.I Don't get on here too often due to odd working, so if anyone (he says hopefully) messages me, I'm not being *** joke for you, a man walks into a doctors & says "doctor, I think I'm a moth" the doctor says, "I'm a GP, I think you need to see a psychiatrist" the man says "I know but I saw your light was on" (ok, it wasn't that bad!)P.S. What the hell is an "Activity Partner" If it means you can teach me how to play the guitar properly, I'm in!! Somewhere busy so you can pretend you haven't seen me & do a runner! I'm me & don't pretend to be someone I'm not & I'd like a first meet to be with someone who's brought themselves & not their representative persona, if you know what I mean?

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Separated

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Someday

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Spiritual but not religious

  • Body type

    Average

  • Height

    6'0"

  • Eye color

    Blue

  • Smoke

    Yes, socially

  • Drink

    Yes, socially

INTERESTS

SIMILAR PEOPLE

Great
stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
  • Wayland

    Online

    Man. 48 years old. Zodiac sign: Capricorn.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 45-55

    I have a friendly and outgoing personality with a good sense of humour. I am happy, easy going, fun loving, confident and a very sociable person who likes meeting new people and having a laugh!In my spare time I enjoy going out with family and friends to the theatre, cinema or for a meal. I also like to chill out and relax at home and enjoy watching tv, films and listening to music. I exercise regularly and love the outdoors. I take part in different activities including mountain biking, running, strength and conditioning training and even ‘zumba’… although I can’t dance and make a complete fool of myself, its fun and I do enjoy it!

  • Law

    Online

    Man. 47 years old. Zodiac sign: Libra.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 44-54

    My self-summaryI’m an ***hole. I won’t open doors for you, in fact be careful as I will likely trip you as you go through the door for laughs and giggles. I expect you to cook for me and clean up my mess after I eat. And by the way, I’m a really messy eater. Food everywhere, on the floor, in my lap, but these are the least of your worries.I leave my socks on the floor in the bedroom, and yes they stink. I will not do laundry, and insist that you do it. Not just insist, you must LOVE to do my laundry and look forward to it. Look forward to it like you look forward to water in the desert. Look forward to it like you look forward to seeing your family after years of separation. I think you get the picture.Also I don’t do romance, I expect action on the first date, big time action, and I won’t sleep over (yes this will be at your place because I don’t want you to know where I live).This dating site says that I should also talk about these four points so as I don’t waste my time and be successful here, so let me address each one:1. Talk about your hobbies. – kicking puppies2. Talk about your goals/aspirations – finding a rich woman to take care of me3. Talk about yourself and what makes you unique – I’m not unique in the least bit4. Your taste in music – The Cranberries, Enya, Mazzy Star, ****cat Dolls, Indigo GirlsOK girls, waiting for your ***…goWhat I’m doing with my lifeI have no idea what I'm doing in life. Just like I have no idea why tonight's dinner consisted of leftover Easter jellybeans. When I was a kid I dreamed about being a Repo Man. I spent lots of time helping friends and family. I don't mean to seem lazy. I'm a hard worker.I’m really good atCutting lemon wedges. Guitar Hero, Turning on a jukebox with the slight hit of my fist. No wait. That's Fonzy. I can't do that. Thinking of cool tattoo ideas, even though I don't want to ever get one. Running a chainsaw. Apparently I'm good at turning women off. I don't get many responses here. Making my own beef jerky. Sneaking food into the movies. Howling. I should explain that one. My dog howls at the noon whistle. I howl with him. Drawing cows.The first things people usually notice about meFear and trembling.Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and foodBooks: Stranger in a Strange LandMovies: Willy Wonka, IdiocracyShows: Gold Rush, American Shopper, South ParkMusic: Listen only to NPRFood: Will eat anything that doesn't eat me firstThe six things I could never do without"All I need is this lamp!"- Steve MartinI spend a lot of time thinking aboutMaybe you....On a typical Friday night I amHacking into goverment networksThe most private thing I’m willing to admitI like to dress up as Hello Kitty****NOTE**** I made most of this up. It's satire. Please stop sending messages about what an ***hole I am for kicking dogs. I love dogs. Too many factors to think about at this time

  • Malachy

    Online

    Man. 48 years old. Zodiac sign: Virgo.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 45-55

    Hi and thanks for stopping by. As to what I am looking for its really simple. I would really like to meet someone who has their act together whom I can share a mutual attraction with and enjoy each others company. I am a very busy person between my job and family so my spare time is quite valuable. In that case game players and serial daters no need to apply...All others I look forward to hearing from you!!***\\***Plz***\\\***Put This***On Your***account If***You Know***\\\***Someone***\\***Who Died***\***Of***\\\***Cancer***\\\---Or who may be suffering from it. I have a wide variety of interests so finding different things to do is never a problem. Yes we can always fall back on the same old dinner and a movie...lol...I myself like lots of others things too. In the summer the possibilities are endless if you enjoy daytime outdoor activities as much as I do. Im sure if we put our heads together we can come up with something....Maybe start out by having coffee?

Follow Us: