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Gorden, 37
United States, Illinois, Sullivan

Offline, last seen Wed, 01 May 2024 06:19:51

About Me

Well it occurred to me out of the blue: hey, I think I want to subject myself to as many unsightly idiots as possible. If I'm really lucky, I'll find a quadruple divorcee with three baby daddies while toting a double digit IQ. Ideally of course, I'll just receive a myriad of unthought-out "your hawt" messages from randoms who look like they got stuck at a bus stop without a schedule or an umbrella. And in the rare *** someone actually does catch my eye, I can reach out with a simple hello and be confused for a douche bag* who just wants to get laid and of course never hear anything back. Next week I'll go play in traffic.- normalWhen a guy poses in front of the mirror for a picture - doucheWhen a girl plays the field for her best possible match - normalWhen a guy plays the field for his best possible match - doucheThe ultimate online dating guide for impatient females:Successful? DoucheLow paying job? LoserGood looking? DoucheNot so good looking? CreeperMuscular? Cheating doucheToo skinny? NextA few years younger than average? DoucheA few years older than average? DamagedIntelligent? DoucheStupid? DoucheTen things to know about me:1. I'm a good cook2. I am unbeatable at scrabble3. I drive a stick. Fast. As if I were delivering live human organs4. I'm a year younger than Vin Diesel (if you really want to know, google his age)5. I'm Christian6. I sleep with four pillows so that it doesn't feel like I'm sleeping alone7. If you wear a ponytail holder on your wrist, I already like you8. I can knock 20 pounds per month off of anyone, WITHOUT the gym or starvation9. I haven't traveled in space10. I'm never running for presidentFrequently Asked QuestionsQ - How are you?A - I'm fine. I'll tell you this anyway because I don't know you.Q - Did you have a good workout?A - That's the only reason I go to the gymQ - Why are you single?A - Because I don't have a mutant twin growing out of my neckQ- Any luck on here?A - I still have a profile Hold up on those dinner reservations. My expectations of meeting the one on here are exasperatingly low. I prefer friends first, we can swing for the fences later.Okay, so as you see, I'm listed at 37 even though I'm older. I mean what girl wants a balding old fat guy with a ton of baggage and an erection problem? I've encountered far too many profiles with a cut-off age of 40. So, here I am showing up in search results, complete with very recent pictures.Just like you, I have a few turn-ons and turn-offs. So I'll delve into mine. Tattoos are fine, but no tattoos are impressive. If you have your ear piercings stretched out like a tribal African, not a fan. If you are an Asian or a Hispanic blonde, I have one word: seriously? And why do black women take pictures of themselves from behind with one hand on the wall? I think my skin just crawled as I typed that.I have thoroughly researched the word "few". Most will think either 3 or 4 when they hear this word. Some sources say that the limit in which the word "few" is still applicable is 6, with 7 becoming a bunch. I also found one source that said a "few" can apply up to 11, with 12 of course becoming a dozen. So, that said, if you are indeed a few pounds overweight, I certainly don't mind.Just like you, I don't respond to all of the messages that wind up in my inbox. If you send me a message and I don't respond, don't fret. Just think back to all of the guys in your life that you have ever rejected and take comfort in the fact that it all balances out.Dating sure has changed a lot since the good old days.***'s: Want to go to the dance with me? ***'s: Want to go to the drive in with me? ***'s: What's your sign?***'s: Want to wig? ***'s: Check out my junk.Posting quotes from others is pretty cool, but here are a few I penned myself:"You are a product of your own decisions""Happiness is not an accident""If you want the apple of your eye, grow the right tree""All the good ones aren't taken, they just want a good one too""Every woman is a sweetheart for 3 weeks out of the month""Men are from Earth women are from Earth""Egyptian alcoholics floating down the river are in da Nile""Live life for today pay tomorrow, live life for tomorrow and the world is yours""If you're going to go panning for gold, expect plenty of mud along the way"

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Yes

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Spiritual but not religious

  • Body type

    Athletic

  • Height

    5'11"

  • Eye color

    Green

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    No

INTERESTS

Electronic Watching TV Fantasy Mystery Romance
Wink Icon color PERSONAL INFORMATION Fave
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SIMILAR PEOPLE

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stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
  • Darden from Sullivan | Man | 40 years old | Taurus
    Darden

    Offline

    Man. 40 years old. Zodiac sign: Taurus.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 37-47

    Well. I am a professional chef and musician ..I have played in several bands and haveput out several albums and have done tours.radio. magazines the whole nine yards I also play in a KISS tribute band.and the other bands are hard rock or metal.....what I'm looking for ...I'm looking for a relationship. After 8 years of someone who lies and cheats.I would really like tofind love....so if your looking for someone who is real hit me upPLEASE NO DRUGS OR ANYONE STILL HUNG UP ON THERE EX..I WANT TRUST. TRUTH. HONOR. Would love to believe in love at first site.you never know..but we would hopefully have alot in common.First date could be anything from me cooking. To haveing some drinks.To going to the movies..and just for the record hopefully my date or future matewould be a 100% metalhead.oh and by way just because I'm a chef and play music. Does not mean I'm rich. Gold diggers. Need not apply

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  • Rel19Hk from Sullivan | Man | 45 years old | Leo
    Rel19Hk

    Online

    Man. 45 years old. Zodiac sign: Leo.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 28-44

    Hi! My name is Rel19Hk. I am divorced lds caucasian man without kids from Sullivan, Illinois, United States. Now I'm looking for new relationships. I want to meet a woman, love of my life.

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  • Jiphtah from Sullivan | Man | 36 years old | Virgo
    Jiphtah

    Offline

    Man. 36 years old. Zodiac sign: Virgo.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 33-43

    I love the ocean and making my living on it. My family and friends are whats most important to me and making a difference in there lifes. I am a huge country music fan! However i listen to everything.( my tolerance for rap music is short though:***of my favorite things to do is a road trip to a concert. Country show preferably. When i have a GF spending time with her and making her feel special and safe makes me happy. Taking her out to dinner ,walks on the beach, road trips, random surprises etc. I have not been in a position to travel much, however now that my daughter is grown up and I have become older traveling with my girlfriend and planning trips sounds amazing!i am a good hearted guy with a great sense of humor, a lil shy AT FIRST but I really open up once i get comfortable.I am looking for my best friend, someone to grow with, solve all life's lil problems with, and make the most out of our future together. I live alone and i run a successful buissness as a sea urchin diver. I am stable independent and ready for a healthy relationship. I have a 17 year old daughter who is amazing. So if what i wrote interests you get back to me and lets chat more! coffe, dinner, a drink just want to get to know you a lil better and take it from there.

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