The Right Way to Cancel a Date: 4 Simple (But Important) Guidelines

There comes a time when you have to back out of a date. When this does happen to you it’s essential that you do it with class. It may be due to a legitimate reason that is far beyond your control. It may also be due to the fact that you can see early on that this is not going to be a match. Whatever your reasons may be, you want to approach this gently. You don’t want hurt feelings and you certainly don’t want a bad reputation because of it, so it’s important to have the right approach.

Backing out of a date isn’t going to make the other person feel good, and it likely won’t make you feel good either. If you are as honest as you can be and you are gentle with your approach, it’s going to go a lot further. Don’t get caught up in lies or back out of the date on bad terms, for thinking it through beforehand will make you both feel better in the end. Here’s how to back out of a date with your head held high!

1. Be honest if there is a legitimate reason

If something came up like a family situation or having to be out of town for work, then just own up to it. Life happens and most reasonable people understand this. Be straightforward about what the reason is, address it head on, and apologize. Let them know that though these circumstances are beyond your control, you certainly still want to see them. If you have something specific to point to, then by all means tell them and more than likely they will get it and be open to meeting again.

2. Be sincere and keep it positive

Don’t be fake, but do be sincere and show that you care. Try your best to keep it positive, even if it’s because you can see that you are clearly not a match for each other. Don’t make them feel bad or dwell on it, but do keep it positive and try to make plans for the future. If it’s clearly not a match then just be as genuine as possible in having to back out of the date and try to end on a high note. There’s always a way to keep it sincere no matter what the reason may be.

3. Be sure you back out in plenty of time before the date

Don’t wait until an hour before the date if at all possible. If you know that you have to back out of the date then by all means tell them in enough time so as not to upset them. Be courteous and think of how you would like to be treated if it were reversed. The more that you can put yourself into that mindset, the more that it will pay off for you in trying to secure another date.

4. Ask for it to be rescheduled when you break plans

If you really want to have another date then ask for it. Be honest about why you have to reschedule in the first place, and then ask if you can reschedule. If you have the right approach and you keep it upbeat then you can likely get the date rescheduled. This means that you did something right and that you are not going to hurt your chances with this person. Backing out of the date in the right way can in fact ensure that you still have a chance in the future—think it through, plan it out, and be as genuine as possible to make it work.