It’s always so adorable to look at old couples who’ve spent all their lives together. So many people would like to know the secret how to live “happily ever after”. But is it really a secret? What is really keeping couples together through the years?
Well, American psychiatrist Mark Goulston has an advice for you. Here are his 10 tips for long-lasting relationships:
1. Go to bed together
“Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times,” – Dr. Goulston
It doesn’t mean you have to have sex every night. Focus more on going to sleep together, even if one of you gets back up shortly after. There is nothing better for a healthy relationship than cuddle and lazy talks in the bed.
2. Hold hands
“It’s more important to be with your partner than to see the sights along the way,” – Dr. Goulston
Try to make sure you’re holding hands every time you are together. This public sign of affection is a sign of real comfort of being together.
3. Don’t forget to say “I love you” and “have a good day”
“It’s a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines, and other annoyances,” – Dr. Goulston
It looks like something obvious but saying and hearing something like this every day is really influencing your relationships. It doesn’t only create a good mood for you and your partner but also you always have in mind that someone loves and cares about you.
4. Be proud to be seen together.
“It’s not showing off, but rather just saying that they belong with each other,” – Dr. Goulston
A display of tenderness in public is important. It’s a chance to show that you really love your partner and not ashamed to be with him or her. Though, don’t be too intense. You don’t need to make out in public just to show your love 🙂
5. Try to hug more.
“Our skin has a memory of ‘good touch’ (loved), ‘bad touch’ (abused), and ‘no touch’ (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the ‘good touch,’ which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world,” – Dr. Goulston
Hugging, as well as saying I love you, creates a special mood for the rest of the day. Also, it’s more intimate and can show more love and affection to each other that just words.
6. Always trust and try to forgive
“It’s key to make trusting and forgiving, rather than distrusting and begrudging your default setting after an argument”, – Dr. Goulston
It a well-known rule that trust is a key for healthy relationships. Trusting your partner would definitely make your relationships long-lasting. As well as being able to forgive.
7. Pay attention to what they do right, not wrong
“If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive,” – Dr. Goulston
Positive reinforcement always helps you to stay optimistic about someone. Judging everything they’re doing won’t help to improve your relationships. Instead, try to find something good in any trivia. It won’t only save relationships with your couple, but also will change your own attitude to life.
8. Develop your common interests
“If common interests aren’t present, happy couples develop them. Don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting and prevent you from appearing too dependent,” – Dr. Goulston
It’s completely okay if you have different interests but at the same time in order to build long-lasting relationships, you have to have something in common. You would definitely find something interesting for both of you and it would make your relationships even stronger and happier.
9. Check in with them throughout the day.
“It’s a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work,” – Dr. Goulston
Calling your partner to check how their day is going not only helps you to be ready to make expectations for the evening time but also shows that you are caring and worrying about him or her. Though, don’t call or text too much. If they have a lot of work, they will be only annoyed by you.
10. Always say good night. Regardless of how you feel.
“It tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident,” – Dr. Goulston
Never go to bed on an argument. It is important not only in terms of your relationships but also going to sleep while being angry or upset influence your own health.
Following these simple rules would improve your relationships and make your couple last forever.