Being away from the person you love can be devastating – this is something those in remote long-distance relationships know well. But, what if you never meant to be in a long-distance relationship? What if the worldwide pandemic or a move for school or a new job forced you to move away?
Dealing with the reality of not being able to see your partner whenever you please –or trying to date someone new during a pandemic– is a tough pill to swallow.
So, how does remote romance work? Remote romance isn’t for everyone, but if you’re having trouble in an LDR or have been forced into one because of the Coronavirus Quarantine, don’t worry. There are plenty of ways to make your relationship work. Here are some great some top tips on how remote romances work and how to ensure your relationship stays happy and healthy.
1. Make plans
Remote romance works by spending virtual time with someone. You are a couple, even though you can’t be together. There are many benefits to starting a remote relationship. One is that when you can’t be in the same room together, you don’t let physical intimacy get in the way. You devote more time to getting to know one another and forming a relationship with a healthy foundation of friendship. That being said, at some point, you and your spouse should talk about meeting up. Research shows that couples who are in long-distance relationships are more likely to become distressed and dissatisfied with their relationship when there was not an end-goal of meeting or moving in together in mind. If you have been remote dating for some time, start making plans for a future with your partner. This will ease tensions and build love.
2. Find new and interesting ways to have a remote date night
Just because you can’t be in person together doesn’t mean you can’t still have an awesome date night. If you’re remote dating, don’t sweat it.
Here are some fun and creative date night ideas:
- Choose a recipe together, gather the ingredients, hop on video chat, and start cooking! This is like a romantic dinner date night with your partner.
- Play a game online together.
- Binge-watch a show or sync up a movie to watch together.
- Go for a socially distanced walk (if you live in the same town).
- Start a joint playlist.
- Begin a new hobby together or take an online class.
Date night is great because it connects partners, boosts communication, and increases overall relationship satisfaction – plus, it’s fun!
3. Meet friends
Whatever reason you are currently in a remote romance, it’s important to get to know your partner and what better way to get to know them than to get to know their friends? Schedule a group chat or start following one another on social media. The same goes for you. Your friends are a big part of your life. These are the people who love and support you and who you have chosen to be your extended family. If you want the person you’re dating to enter your inner circle, they need to meet your friends! Not only is this a great way to hear some hilarious stories about your spouse, but meeting each other’s friends will make your relationship feel legitimate.
4. Create clear boundaries
Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean you aren’t in a committed relationship – or does it? When it comes to remote dating, it’s important to set clear rules and boundaries. For example, you may want to talk to your spouse about behaviors that you considering cheating, or that would make you uncomfortable.
5. Make time for each other
Just because you can’t be together in person doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t carve out part of your day to spend some quality time with your partner. Research shows that couples who spend quality time together are more likely to have higher levels of relationship satisfaction than couples who don’t. Make your partner and the relationship you’re trying to build a priority to you. Show your spouse that you are there for them and that they are worth your time.
Spending time together (watching television or having an online date) is fun and healthy, but spending quality time is even better.
When you set aside quality time with your partner, you’re using that time to connect. You’re putting away other distractions in your day and making an effort to build emotional intimacy with your spouse.
6. Communicate often
Communication is how we learn about our partners and grow as a couple. This is especially true of long-distance or remote relationships because your words are mostly all you have! Communicate through text and video calls, but try to prioritize video messages and phone conversations to get as much intimacy as you can. Not to mention, hearing your partner speak can help add tone and texture to your conversation.
Other benefits of regular communication include:
- Learning each other’s triggers
- Resolving differences
- Preventing misunderstandings from snowballing
- You listen and build empathy
- Trust increases
- Boosts emotional intimacy
Whether you have been separated from a loved one because of social distancing, are already in an LDR, or are trying to date during the pandemic – communication is going to be your best friend.
7. Retain independence
It’s easy to put all of your eggs into one basket when you’re dating someone you’re crazy about, but be careful not to get too caught up too fast. You may be remote dating, but it’s important not to forget who you are. Maintain your independence by keeping your eyes focused on your goals and keeping up with your social life. Doing so does not mean that your partner isn’t important to you; it means that you’re setting yourself up to be a self-sufficient partner.
Couples who want their remote romance to be successful should make plans to see each other regularly, communicate often, and retain their independence. These are the three keys to success.
This article was written by our guest writer Sylvia Smith. She loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. By taking purposeful and a whole-hearted action, Sylvia feels that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one.