How to Overcome Nice Guy Syndrome

How to Overcome Nice Guy Syndrome

It may sound strange, but being a nice guy means you’ll have little chance with women – they prefer to make friends with nice guys, not fall in love. The reality is so that man with nice guy syndrome will probably have lots of women friends, but unlikely to have physical relationship with any of them. Are nice guys pleased with being just friends or do they dream of something more? The answer is obvious.

If a nice guy wants to change the situation he should stop putting other people’s needs first and realize that it is not a productive way of being. For many men this step is the hardest, but anyway you should change your way of thinking and living. If you’ve managed it’s high time for next step.

Now you have to start being less nice. This step involves taking more time for yourself and finishing all the relationships which go nowhere. You don’t have to turn into a jerk and being kind and polite is still possible, but should have its place. And remember that the earlier you start, the faster your will enjoy the benefits of being a less nice guy!

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6 thoughts on “How to Overcome Nice Guy Syndrome”

  • IMHO, the nice-guy syndrome has little to do with girls not liking nice guys, which is not really true. It has more to do with much deeper issues of abandonment, self-esteem and perfectionism. Work on these things to find your way out.

  • You may become part of the problem rather than part of the solution if you enable others to not take responsibility for their own actions. You can still be a Nice Guy but you cannot give up yourself for someone else. Set healthy boundaries for yourself. Be compassionate. Keep loving others 🙂

  • Well, for me, the only time the nice guy bothers me is when he is too clingy and possessive to the point of smothering.
    But mostly, nice guys are great…..Stay away from the bad boys…they are actually the ones who are very boring.

  • I confess I was that guy. Nice, over-loving, too giving…a victim. Till it hurt too much and now I am nice when it needs to be but firm and fair everywhere else. So, be real and say what you feel and you’re not cruel if you stick to your own rules. It’s good to be nice for only a slice of the time. The rest is setting and keeping the boundaries.

  • It’s not about changing your persona, it’s about accepting the messy complicated reality of human relationships(busting perfectionism), seeing yourself as attractive(self-esteem) and accepting that you can’t change someone who doesn’t want you into someone who does(abandonment).

  • think kindness can be a strength or a weakness. It depends where you’re coming from. In the case of men with the nice guy syndrome, it is a weakness because it’s motivated by a desperate need for approval and it’s a sneaky (not to mention often ineffective) way to try and get their needs met.

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