Not all the first dates are successful. You want to make a good first impression and you work really hard to try and put your best foot forward, yet the first date always seems to be a bust. You try to show confidence, but you never give into being cocky. It may seem like you are doing everything right, but the problem is that you may unknowingly be destroying the first date without even realizing it. This is a common problem that so many people experience, and you can put a stop to it now.
Though physical appearance matters greatly on the first date, so does the type of behavior that you exhibit. It’s all about finding balance in everything that you do or say. It’s all about being yourself but ensuring that you don’t go to any one extreme. You want to take a look at past dates and consider what could have gone wrong. Sure it could have been the person you were on the date with. Though, it may be something that you are putting out there without even realizing it. Now is the time to focus on what unknown signs you are giving off and then fix them.
Some of these may come as a surprise to you, and some you likely didn’t even realize you were doing. Don’t give into nerves, always be yourself, and be sure that you aren’t falling into any of these traps and the first date will lead to a second one. It may seem overwhelming at first, but just be aware of these things and you will be just fine and break this negative cycle once and for all. So, here are the signs of a ruined date that you should avoid in future.
You are talking about past relationships
It may seem to honestly come up in conversations, but the first date is not the time or place for this. They don’t want to hear about what went wrong. They don’t want to hear about your ex. If they do ask a question then just keep your answer light and short. If you keep going on and on about it then it will send out a red flag. They don’t want to think that you are still stuck on your ex. And therefore it’s up to you to show them that you truly aren’t.
You are talking nonstop and never stopping to listen
This is often a byproduct of nerves, but it can really wear thin after awhile. You want to be sure that you are listening just as much as you are talking. It may come off that you aren’t interested in them or what they have to say. Take a deep breath and find that balance between talking and listening. It can quite literally turn your luck around.
You are closed off or give into nerves
At the other end of the spectrum are the people who go quiet when they are nervous. They may be very interested but they can’t think of the right thing to say so they don’t say much at all. Don’t get so nervous that you can’t talk, for they may be nervous too. They want to get to know you and decide if there should be a second date, but if you sit there without saying much they will take it as a lack of interest and move on.
You are pushy with the questions that you are asking without even realizing it
Never ever try too hard and that comes in the way of laying off of the questions that you ask. Sure you want to get to know this person but you certainly don’t want to come off as pushy or needy. Don’t be too aggressive and let the conversation dictate what you learn about each other. This is just a good rule of thumb for all conversations!
You are showing bad manners or rude to the staff
One of the worst things is somebody who chomps their food with their mouth open, or who sits slumped in their seat with their elbows on the table. Being rude to the wait staff is another horrible thing to witness. You might not realize you are doing it, but this is an instant turn off for it shows that you are rude and have no regard for people’s feelings.
You keep asking about future plans, even if it’s subtle or sincere
Though things may seem like they are going well, don’t keep focusing on the future. Even if it feels natural in the course of the conversation, focus on the here and now and not the future. This will show that you are not fixated on the next date and that you are enjoying this moment.
It’s not always easy to tell if you are putting these attitudes out there but take a long hard look. If you can get in tune with these behaviors and really try hard not to give into them, it will make your dating life so much better in the future.
Even though this one might be already ruined, just try to convince your date to meet once more. The first impression is important but if you’ll change your behavior on the second one, you still might have a chance. And if not, just move on. The more dates you have, the less likely you are going to fail again. Fing your perfect match and try to avoid these mistakes in future. Install Meetville app on Android and iOS right now and go on a date with local singles!