You’re sitting face to face and you know that this is a big moment for you. The first date is a really important time to put your best face forward, and yet you find that sometimes you’re unsure of what to say. Even if you are a great conversationalist you may find that you are stumped when it comes to first date topics. It does take a balance and it means that you have to tune into what this person is all about. You want to look for common interests and middle ground where you can meet and discuss issues that are interesting and appropriate for both of you. So how do you get to that point?
You want to keep it light, but also remember that this is a time to really get to know each other. You want to be sure to find out if this person is a match for you, and know that they are doing the very same thing. You also want to be sure to avoid certain topics that could sabotage the first date and ensure that you don’t get another one. There are certain things that are off limits if you are interested in winning this person over. If you keep to a few simple topics you can get to know the other person and also ensure that you don’t get into topics that could be potentially damaging. This is like a fact-finding mission and an entryway into a potential relationship, so be smart about it.
Here are a few things that can really help you in terms of finding good conversation topics within that all important first date. There are also a few things you want to avoid at all costs, but above all be certain that you keep it light and let it be give and take—make sure your talking and listening time are equal!
1. You can talk about your occupations, but you should never insert your opinions into this: Sure you want to talk about what you both do professionally so this is a fine entry point into a conversation. If one of you is involved in some type of business or field that might be controversial, now is not the time to offer opinions. Even if you happen to be in the same field, you don’t want to put down anybody else’s livelihood or the company that they work for. Keep it light so that you can learn about the professional side of them, but never insert opinions that could be hurtful and harm your chances of landing another date. Just not worth it!
2. You can talk about current events, but don’t get into politics or religion: There’s a lot going on in the world but try to keep to neutral topics. Talk about new innovations, places to visit, technology, or things of the sort. What you want to be sure to avoid are the conversations whereby politics or religion enter the arena—avoid at all costs! You will have plenty of time to discuss more of the ethical or moral topics later on, and as you get to know each other you will learn about where you stand. Keep it light, neutral, and never get into topics that could cause anxiety and sabotage the first date instantly.
3. You can talk about hobbies and interests, but never criticize or talk about things that are unconventional or perhaps “taboo”: If they are big into hunting and you are totally against it, now is not the time to discuss your difference of opinions. If you have a hobby that may be a bit taboo maybe hold that until later on. You do want to get to know each other, but the first date isn’t the time to discuss controversial topics. Discuss what you like to do in your spare time and talk about potentially common interests for a great way of bonding.
4. You can talk about family and friends, but you never want to talk about past relationships: It’s great to tell them about your family and friends and those that are important to you in your life. You want to hear how they interact with the people closest to them in their life too. What you don’t want to do is get stuck talking about an ex or a past relationship. Even if it’s fresh, they don’t want to hear about it—so save these conversations for good friends! First dates are a great time to talk about who you are, but never about your dating past so it pays to remember that.