The first date is a time when you want to win each other over. You more than likely put a lot of time and thought into your appearance. You want to be sure that you show him that you are a wonderful catch, and therefore, get him interested for a second date. As you go to great lengths to try to impress him, you want to be sure that you don’t turn him off by making one of the fatal mistakes. Though you might not think that they don’t apply to you, think long and hard to determine if you have ever gone down the wrong path with these in the past—for any of these could cost you any future dates!
The thing is that you probably didn’t set out to get drunk or act crazy on that first date, but it happened. You may not have meant to go in and talk obsessively about your ex-boyfriend, but you felt comfortable and you let it flow. Being aware of these and, therefore, doing your best to avoid them is crucial to your long-term dating success. Learn from the past if you are guilty of any of these, and then do your best to avoid these fatal mistakes at all costs moving forward. Though you might have the very best of intentions, if you fall into one of these traps then you can almost guarantee that another date is not in your future.
Just as you are spending a lot of time to prepare for your date, you also want to be certain that you don’t freak out this guy before you. Put time and effort into how you present yourself, just as you would for applying makeup or doing your hair. How you portray yourself and the type of impression that you make will dictate if you get another date at all. So think through these mistakes that will undoubtedly freak a guy out, and then do everything you can to be sure that you don’t fall into this trap.
1. If you talk constantly about your ex and bash him: This is a double whammy, and you may not realize it! Not only are you going on and on about your past relationship and coming across as not ready to date again, but you are talking badly about things. You are telling this guy that things went terribly wrong and also talking about what a jerk this guy was. You are coming across as bitter, jaded, and not ready to move on with your life. This guy is going to freak out because he is sure that this means that you’re not ready for a relationship with him either—and that you will say tons of negative things about him if things go wrong! He is going to run the other way, and honestly, he should.
2. If you focus on the future and talk about how badly you want to get married: Though he doesn’t want you to focus on the past, he also doesn’t want you to focus only on the future either. If you are the type of woman that talks about the future and your need to get married and settle down, he’s going to completely freak out. He’s not there yet, certainly not with a woman that he just met. Don’t fall into this trap and guarantee that he bolts because he’s sure that you’re trying to size him up as a lifetime companion.
3. If you come across as high maintenance: If you make a big fuss about the food at the restaurant or the place that you’re at, this is a turn-off. If you come across as a spoiled princess or somebody that is just too over the top high maintenance, then you may as well kiss the date goodbye. Men do not want to babysit or give into your every need, especially early on. Don’t be that high maintenance woman or it could cost you dearly.
4. If you get drunk, act crazy, or don’t worry about making a fool out of yourself on the first date: He wants to see that you can chill out, but not that you get too crazy or drunk. Remember that this is all about first impressions and if yours is coming on too strong or memorable for the wrong reasons, then this is going to cause big problems down the line. Be sure to keep it under control and save the crazy drunk time for your friends!
Knowing what he wants to see and what he doesn’t want to see can really help you to make the date a success. Though you may not necessarily think that you could possibly fall into any of these traps, take inventory and be certain that you play it cool so as not to freak him out!